The mailgirl

Moving to NYC

2009-05-18T06:20:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm not. But I'm thinkin' about it....ha

That's why I haven't blogged lately....I've been preoccupied on how I'm gonna afford one of those sky rise apartments in NYC. New York City met all my expectations and more!

Ya'll, when I climbed those steps coming out of the subway for the first time it was awesome! Taxi's honking their horns, sirens in the distance (probably from someone being murdered) and the smell of hot dogs filled the air! I'm not sure why any of that would excite anyone but it did me! ha

I will have to admit that I even got emotional when we got to the top of the Rockerfeller Center, aka "Top of the Rock" which has the same great views as the Empire State Building. I was so embarrassed to be having actual tears over a view but this was a dream finally lived out! (There was also a grown man crying too, we didn't hug or anything)

More to come....I'm off to work!
Oh, and I STILL don't have a USB cord for my camera so I'll have to go to Wally World to make a cd of my pictures! I took like a billion......hahaha

A time for prayer....and laughs too!

2009-03-29T17:20:00.005-05:00

So, I've been surfing the 'net today and doin' a little blogging when I come across a blog I haven't read in a while. I'm sure most of you have read or heard of this family. They have overcome obstacles but are facing more....please, go read their story and pray!

In the midst of her pain, MckMamma, (I don't know her real name, ha) still has some humor through it all. She was totally making fun of this product but I may, for real, order one off the internet......go look NOW! It's called GoGirl and I seriously need to put one these in my purse!!!! :)

For those of you that went on the women's retreat will totally know why, but for those of you that wasn't there......well, don't laugh, but I peed on myself several times over the course of the weekend. The first major incident happened in Ober Gatlinburg when we went snow tubing. I used the bathroom first so my bladder SHOULD HAVE been empty. However, after I went down the first time, the second, third, and fourth time I emptied it just a little or lot more. The tooth-less guys that worked there got a pretty good laugh. Needless to say, after the fourth time I gave it up and went and sat my pee panties down.

So, watch out girls! Next time we go anywhere I might just break out the GoGirl thingy!!!! :))

(My favorite quote from the website is..."You won't be like a man but you can pee like one." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Ider Baptist Women's Retreat 2009

2009-03-19T12:45:00.002-05:00

This re-cap may have to come in segments because, ya'll, I'm still exhausted!!!!

I have to say, "Yay, me" because I have landed my first very own you tube video. Ya'll, I am on my way to stardom, I just know it!!!

This particuluar recorded moment happend Saturday night after Lisa's third installment of her, "Stronger" Bible study......(it was awesome....I can't promise you what you will see next will be..)

It was titled Jennifer and Brooke's adventure but I have to make mention of our helper, Lori! For those of you who don't know she is our local postmaster of our post office! Thanks Lori for your help on this one! The back-up to my singing was awesome! :)

My agent gave me some pointers for next time:
1. Suck in. Never let go and let your abdomen shine through your shirt.
2. If you pee your pants and must change....go ahead and throw a t-shirt on with your pajama pants.
3. Get some singing lessons.

I'll be back with more re-caps later! Until then you can check out Lisa and Christi's blogs for more hilarious pictures and videos!

The beauty of Facebook

2009-03-02T21:12:00.003-06:00

You just never know what can turn up when you least expect it!

Eleventh Grade Prom

Yeah, that's me...the bustiest girl in the crowd...Still don't see me? Well I'm the only one in a $4.99 red dress from the Salvation Army. You're probably thinking it was ok deal but what you don't see is the hemline. There is a full body shot of this dress out there floating around the internet that shows that this particular steal was an inch too short. You can see my shoes. Still not a big deal, you say? Well all the other girls with floor length dresses really go to the floor where mine doesn't.

If you don't recognize any of these girls it's because I left the big town of Ider my eleventh grade year and went to Madisonville High, home of the Tornadoes! Boy, was that a whirlwind year......

Ya know, you think you can leave some things behind in your life, hoping other people might forget the girl with the too short dress but thanks to Facebook......

we can never quite forget..........(I'm sure it could be worse ;)

I'm going to the BIG APPLE!!!!!

2009-02-24T20:40:00.002-06:00

Yes!!! New York City!!!

I'm so excited. No, I'm more than that.....I can't even come up with a word to describe it except that it's a dream come true!!!
I have wanted to go to New York City since I was in high school!

(Every time I say "New York City" that salsa commercial comes to my mind....do you know the one? "New YORK CITY??? Get the rope...." hahahhhahahahhaa)

Anyway......My friend Jennifer called me up and said that her sister and sister's husband invited us to go along with them to NYC and the room was on them!!!! What??? YES!!!! So all I have to pay for is the plane ticket (186.00 to be exact) and money to eat with....can you say cheese and crackers???? I don't care if I have a dime to spend there as long as I get to sight see!!! (I'm looking for things to sell on ebay as you read this....)

First stop: Studio 1A Rockerfeller Plaza!!!! I love the Today show! Ya'll can help me with some poster ideas!!! :)
Second stop: EVERYWHERE ELSE!!!! ......Central Park, Times Square, ect, ect, ect....!!!!!
Third stop: If I find enough junk to sell on Ebay I want to see a Broadway Play!!!

So, I hope you don't see this as bragging or (Lisa) like a in-your-face kinda thing but it's just me spreadin' the joy!!!! :)))

Do you love to read?

2009-02-22T09:47:00.002-06:00

I have found a new website that I love!

It's www.paperbackswap.com and it's awesome! Well, if you are patient, that is.

You post books that you have and you don't mind getting rid of into your online library. Once you have posted 10 books you get 2 free credits. These credits allow you to request books from other people for free! Once you request the book they will ship you their used copy for you to keep!

Now the catch is that if someone requests one of your books you are obligated to ship that book out to them. The dollar or two it takes to ship the book is so worth getting a book you have been wanting but don't want to spend out for a new book!

The other no-so-great-thing is that if you are requesting a book that everyone else is requesting then you have to wait in line for it...I am currently 1023 in line for a particular book...ha
I do have though two books on the way that I don't have to wait in line for, so go check it out!
(Oh, and those 10 books you list can be real duds...they don't care what they are...so either way you get two credits free just for listing even boring, dumb books! HA!)
One more thing...if you join, say that I referred you...I get a free credit when you list your 10 books! :)
My user name is mailgirl1978
Thanks!

The new face of Mr. Clean

2009-01-15T09:45:00.004-06:00

Gazelle rechargeable vacuum on major clearance at Walgreens: $12

4-old-son vacuuming: Priceless

Look at his face, ha. He loved it. He vacuumed until it ran out of charge!

*I'm moving him on to the bathroom when he gets done here. ;))

Days Three, Four, and Five of weight loss journey.....

2009-01-14T06:17:00.002-06:00

Have you ever been excited when you get diarrhea???

Yeah, me neither.

Well, except for when I'm on a diet and I eat something I shouldn't...hahahha
I may be completely nuts but my thought process while my stomach is cramping is: "I ate, I swallowed, and now wooohooo it's a goin' on through me!!!!"

Now for all you anonymous commenters out there...I'm joking. I do not have eating disorder. I do not self induce said diarrhea. I just enjoy it when it happens. In the words of Napolean Dynamite, "GOSH!!!"

Madeline had a cheer competition in Birmingham and we were there for about 5 stinkin' hours! I was shaking because of my sugar problem, (I've self diagnosed this) so I convinced myself that I needed a fat pretzel smothered with salt and butter. Oh it was so good going down but I paid for it later!!!! I then was in a bathroom with 50 teenage cheerleaders rocking back and forth telling God I will never have another pretzel again.

So, what I'm wondering is......do I have to count those points??? :))

I have done well otherwise and can't wait to weigh in Thursday evening! I hope I've lost 50 pounds!!! A girl can wish right?

Dear Ms. Anonymous.........

2009-01-11T20:30:00.003-06:00

Well I've received my first critical anonymous comment. While I'm happy to see traffic coming to my blog, I'm not one for criticism...ha. Especially when its about my then newly potty trained 3 year old son. The post was about Jamie teaching Jack to pee standing up when Jack FINALLY decided to start using the potty.

Puppy dog tails....and pee on the seat?

There is the post and now here is the anonymous comment:

Anonymous said...
I live in a house with two housemates, one male, David, and one female, Teresa. (I'm female). Recently Teresa admitted to me that she stepped into a puddle of pee on the bathroom floor that David had left and was on the warpath. (They share the upstairs bathroom.) I had left a note in the downstairs bathroom that said, "After using the toilet remember to put the toilet seat down and wipe up all spill/spray. Thanks." This seemed to discourage David from using that bathroom, but his antics continue upstairs.

Now I see this blog and I realize: the mothers are enablers!!!! Why do you gals put up with this? why is it YOUR job to clean up after your husbands/sons? In addition to leaving pee around the toilet sat, he leaves whiskers/hair in the sink (he's one of the bald guys who shaves his head). Teresa and I have had it and are giving him an ultimatum: either he cleans up after himself or he leaves.

Ladies, why do you put up with this? Please teach your sons to clean up after themselves, because if you don't you're going to be handing their untidy habits to future girlfriends/wives. Imagine how well the guys would take if if we left drops of menstrual blood all over the toilet seat! What, you got a problem with that, fella? Can't imagine why!!!! so why are you putting up with the pee?

Dear Mrs. Anonymous,

Thank you for encouraging me not to enable my newly potty trained son when he misses his aim. I will definitely consider his future wife (we don't encourage living in with a girlfriend) as I make him clean up his urine out of the floor before we head to daycare.
Secondly, I thank you for encouraging me to not put up with my husband for also missing his aim. I will now either:
a.) nag him continually every day for the rest of my life, or
b.) or just leave him because now I realize I just shouldn't put up with this sort of thing!

Now, you can probably tell but I was being a little sarcastic. I will definitely NOT make my son clean the bathroom floor and will definitely NOT nag or leave my husband for things that you say I shouldn't put up with. Sadly, the truth is, if the toilet gets cleaned my husband is actually the one to do it. However, in Ephesians chapter 5 the Bible states that I should respect my husband. I can request that he stop peeing on the seat but I will not be giving him any ultimatums to clean up or leave! Lastly, it doesn't sound like you have a husband or children so come on back over and chat when you do!

Sincerely, Brooke

Maybe I should have ignored this comment and went on about my day but like Sarah Palin said in an interview, if you start attacking my children/family a mama bear rises up in me!!!!
(She may or may not have used a different animal in the interview, ha)

Day Two..........

2009-01-10T19:35:00.002-06:00

I've been on the scale like three times today. Why have I not lost any weight yet??? ha

I ran out of points like sometime around lunch time.........

I'm going to Dairy Queen. If no one sees me it doesn't count.

Ok. Maybe I won't. But I want to. Like really bad.

*sigh*

Here I go again............

2009-01-09T06:30:00.002-06:00

Here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
But I've made up my mind
I ain't wastin' no more time

I'M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS TIME

SO. Here. I. GO. Again. *sigh*

Ok, so that's the words to some song that popped in my head as I was going to sleep last night...hahaha I added my own line though. I'm starting Weight Watchers today for the like the third time. I've also done every other diet known to man, well except for the grapefruit one. I just can't do grapefruit.

I just feel like I've been down this road SOOOO many times and hoping this time, this time I will be successful and STAY successful! I'm so tired of struggling with my weight and I'm SO tired of being fat!

I think the problem is is that I want a rockin' hot body! I just don't think I can ask God to help me when I want to lose weight for the wrong reasons. I need to do it for myself, my health, and my family.

Please say a little prayer for me today. (Pray that I don't have all my points gone by lunch time. Ha!)

I'll post about the puppy soon!!! We've had our hands full, that's for sure!

How many times can a dog crap in an 8 hour period, you ask?

2008-12-23T06:40:00.002-06:00

Answer: Four

Sshhhhh!!! Madeline doesn't know it yet but she's getting a puppy for Christmas. We adopted one from petfinder.com and I went to pick it up Sunday afternoon. I didn't take Jack this time.......and they let me have the dog.....that's another story for those of you who don't already know! ha

So, I've been keeping "puppy" in the mud room and I woke Monday morning to four piles of crap and 4 wet spots.......UGH.
I've been able to hide "puppy" from Madeline because she's been staying with my mother and father in law. Jamie's sister and her kids are here from Charleston so that has kept her occupied for now.....2 more days and then she'll be cleaning up the doo doo!!!! hahaha Merry Christmas, Maddie!!!!!

I've been so busy running I haven't had time to blog!

2008-12-08T23:03:00.002-06:00

NOT!

Ha!

I just don't have too much to blog about lately......

I haven't fell .....

No dog bites.....

Just lots of whining about how cold it is....

Have I mentioned that I hate cold weather????

Maybe in the spring I will start my 5K training.....anyone with me????

Anyone?

Hello?

Bueller?

Couch to 5K in 3 months.......

2008-11-12T01:00:00.002-06:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Yeah. I seriously doubt it.

So, my sister recently ran her first 5k and won first place in her age division. So being the first born in my family I simply cannot be one upped by my sister..........

so........

yeah, I'm gonna rethink this when I get up in the morning...it's 1am.

Goodnight.

Let's play a game!!!!

2008-10-31T16:06:00.000-05:00

We played a game similar to this at one of our Angel meetings. (to all of you non-angels, this is just another word for GNO or girl's night out)
It was hilarious! We went around the room and everyone had to say one thing they have never done....we got some really interesting responses...

Wendy you really do need to try wearing your pj's all day...it is awesome!!!! :)

This game is fairly similar...just copy and paste and highlight the ones you have done before....hey, I'm tryin' to blog everyday! (we'll see how long that goes..ha)

Swam with wild dolphin Not sure this one was considered wild but who on earth has really swam with a wild dolphin? This one was a Mexican dolphin!

Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside a Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candle lit bath
Said I love you and meant it
Hugged a Tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightening storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise Umm..this was probably pre-children

Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables- sadly no, I'm not much of a gardener...I can't even keep house plants alive......

Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower

Gotten drunk on champagne I have to explain this one. I can't just highlight this one and move on....When I was 16 I moved to my dad's in Tennessee. I worked for a fancy smancy country club as a bus girl...I didn't drive a bus, I cleaned tables. Anyway, they had a huge New Year's Eve party and while I was cleaning tables at 2am (I worked with my older step-sister) I took advantage of the champagne bottles lying around....there I said it. I don't think I was really drunk but what I thought was drunk at 16......yeah, I'm gonna stop here.

Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can Daily
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a rollercoaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool, not caring who watched
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was too drunk Daily. hahaha just kidding.
Had amazing Friends still do!
Danced with a Stranger in a foreign country -seriously? this is something someone would want to do?
Watched wild whales I look in the mirror daily
Stolen a sign
Hitchhiked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were in love
In a restaurant sat at a stranger’s table and ate with them Jamie and I sat with a couple while we were on our cruise last year...and still keep in touch with email!

Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke OH YEAH!!!!!!!
Lounged around in bed all day OH YEAH AGAIN!!!!!
Posed nude in front of strangers - are you kidding me???
Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites Mayan ruins on our trip to Cancun!
Taken a martial arts class
Played a computer game for more than 6 hours straight umm possibly? I sometimes have no concept of time when I sit at the computer!
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days -hahhahahahhahahahahhhaha NO
Made cookies from scratch Home Ec. 9th grade. Never again.
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news program as an “expert”
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on a stage Oh yeah! Karaoke, baby!
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded Music
Eaten shark
Had a one-night stand
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children Still at it.
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour - I seriously thought about it when I was in the sixth grade and in love with New Kids On The Block.
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city Does this count when you are 9 and have no choice in the matter?
Walked on the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 lbs -need to.
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Petted a stingray
Broken someone’s heart Daily.
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a TV game show
Broken a bone Do toes count?
Gone on an African safari
Had a body part below the neck pierced -gross
Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
Eaten mushrooms gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over 48 consecutive hours
Visited more foreign countries than US States
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten Kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the paper
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about -I'm working on this one. My brother is a democrat.

Gone back to school
Parasailed
Petted a cockroach- never have, never will
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read the Illiad
Selected one important author who you missed school to read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all of your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common language Deliver mail to large hispanic community. I have found if you talk louder they will finally understand you......hahahhahaa

Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love in hospice care
Build your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone that didn’t know it was yours
Had a booth in a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident
Saved someone’s life

Well that was fun.

I'm not emotionallly unstable.......or am I?

2008-10-30T08:28:00.001-05:00

Sorry if there are any dudes reading this today but I woke up this morning and realized why I was so emo at the Trunk or Treat last night.

Yep. The curse. Showed up totally unannounced. Can you say "RUDE"?

Hindsight I'm always thinking, "Gosh, no wonder I was so psycho..." hahahhahaha

I'm off today and trying to get myself motivated enough to clean.

Is it horrible that I'm letting my son eat Skittles for breakfast?

Trunk or Treat Nightmare

2008-10-29T19:55:00.002-05:00

My day started out fairly well.
Jack got his clothes on by himself.
My car started. (it's a rental, it's new and of course it started but I'm just grabbing for positives here.)
I got to work on time.

That's all I can come up with except for the yummy pizza I had at lunch.

The rest of the day went a little something like this:

My postmaster told me that her super duper computer program, also known as DOIS, was saying that I was 43 minutes under 8 hours and that I needed to take some mail from another route to put me at 8 hours. I agreed to take 30 but my 30 and her 30 were not matching up............long story short.....I dislike DOIS very much.

I had circulars. I really hate to complain but I just need to clarify why I had a breakdown at the Trunk or Treat....please, keep reading.
Circulars are pieces of mail that every house gets. I'm sure you probably even got one today yourself! Take a moment and thank your mail carrier for those lovely Pizza Hut, Captain D's, and Papa John coupons that were left in your mailbox today!

I hurried home because the Trunk or Treat started at 5:30 instead of what I thought was 6! After getting changed we all were involved in a search hunt for Jack's Incredible Hulk mask. It was nowhere. Jack didn't care, but I did. Why? I'm not real sure.

We made a stop at the Dollar Store to get batteries. It was very imperative that we had batteries for the strobe light going in the pumpkins that we carved last night. I mean, I didn't do that for nothin' right?

We finally made it to the church like 40 minutes late. I get out, grab the keys, and start getting the trunk ready for the fifteen kids already waiting at the back of my car. I quickly threw them some candy so I could prepare my masterpiece. I spread out the blankets that I so brilliantly remembered to bring, displayed my wonderful array of candy and prepared to also display my wonderfully, beautifully, carved pumpkins.

Batteries, check.
Pumpkins, check.
strobe light for pumpkins. Left it at home. Great.

I look around to the other vehicles as I'm carelessly throwing candy at the kids as they walk up. Look at all these nice put together trunks I thought to myself....how do these people have it all together?

I mean, one of my new found best friends, Deedra, has a toddler, a baby, and a broke foot, yet her vehicle was lit up with Halloween greatness....

there was Holli with her vehicle decorated with ghosts and pumpkins.....

there was Debra and Alan with their annual Alabama decorated trunk........

there was another decorated in Georgia...no clue who would do that... :P

Judith and Tony.....they have to have electrical outlets just to display their creative greatness every year.....

Me, I can't even remember the light to put in a single pumpkin. Can't keep up with my son's costume. Can't even......hey, where did I put the keys???

Yep, this is when the nightmare really began.

I search all the obvious places first. My pockets, the floor board, in between the seats, under the car, in the trunk, my pockets one more time, I asked Jamie at least 5 times, "Are you sure I didn't give them to you?", the ignition, cup holders, my pockets again,......

Then, like a movie rewinding I watched myself get out of the car and grab the candy bowl....remember the fifteen kids already waiting for candy? yeah, so did I. I grabbed the candy bowl, frantically digging through what was left. Crap, only Starbursts and Skittles.

My mind finally lets me realize that I gave a trick or treater my keys.

I run over to about 50 kids who were waiting to go on a hayride. I can't get them to shut up long enough for them to look in their bags of candy so I do the only thing I know to do. Cry.

I walk back to the fellowship hall, seriously trying not to lose it when Deedra (you remember, my new found best friend?) was very concerned when she saw that I was upset. I was touched. Until I told her what I did and she laughed at me. Thanks Deedra, you are a super pal. :)
Oh, and Judith gave me some wonderful words of encouragement....
"Gosh Brooke, half the kids have already left........"

I cringed and hung my head in total humiliation as someone announced in the fellowship hall..."Everyone check their bags of candy for a set of keys!"

So...then my good friends Lisa and Sharlyn took charge and marched themselves down to the hayride and told the kids that the tractors wouldn't start up until everyone had checked their bags.

Whatdaya know.....the keys turned up....in someone's trick or treat bag. Could you imagine being the kid that got home and dumped all their candy out and was like, "Saaaweet, car keys!"

I'm sure this won't be the last time I hear about this...but it's ok..I was able to laugh about it once I had the keys back in my possession! Deedra you're forgiven...just be glad I didn't stomp your good foot!!! HA~

So I'm tryin' to blog...........

2008-09-02T22:02:00.002-05:00

and Lisa sends me this:

Apparently she thought I needed some repairs with photoshop. I think she just wanted me to look like a cryin' rodeo clown........what do you think??? Hahahahahahaha
I think I need to go to bed....stay tuned for my eventful flight home from San Antonio!

God Stop Friday

2008-08-30T20:05:00.003-05:00

So I'm copycatting (is that a word, and if so, did I spell it right? Did I use my commas correctly in that last sentence?) Patty by using last Friday's event...which in case anyone has forgotten was Beth Moore in San Antonio, TX!!! :))

Although I met A LOT of wonderful women, my God stop moment was meeting my new friends, Elizabeth and Tammy. Out of the hundreds of women staying in the Marriot we (Lisa and I) ran into these two women in the elevator. I wasn't gonna speak first because you know I'm so shy (ha), but Tammy wasn't going to let me get away with that! She poked me on the shoulder and I don't really remember what was said after that but she became my "touchy-feely" friend. Friday evening as we waited in line to go to our seats I got to know more about Elizabeth. I found that we were a lot alike (of course we were, inside joke) and it was as if we had been friends forever! I truly believe, and as she wrote in my Siesta cookbook (thanks Holly!), that God brought us together for a reason!!!
So, thank you Tammy and Elizabeth for a wonderful time in San Antonio and I hope to share many more memories with you!!! I love ya'll!!!!

Hopelessly Devoted to You

2008-08-27T21:59:00.002-05:00

Anyone want a repeat of Saturday's song??? Here ya go.....

Wordless Wednesday

2008-08-27T05:54:00.004-05:00

Ok. I've never been good at this wordless thing. I have to explain this pic...LOL
Jamie and I both wear contacts, so when I packed up for San Antonio I left him the contact solution and found what I thought was a travel box that contained solution and a case. M-O-R-O-N!!!!

Anyway so Friday morning I asked Lisa if she had some solution (I was a little afraid to use mystery solution) and she had also left hers at home...so, off I go to put my contacts in. It was a good thing Lisa was blow drying her hair because I was screaming like a little girl. Apparently what I had used was not solution but some kind of enzyme cleaner....yeah, moron. I can't even begin to describe the pain but I do know that pulling my whole eyeball out did cross my mind. Once I pulled the contact off my searing pupil/lens/eyeball I began giving myself an eye bath to put out the fire.

Lisa still has no idea....well until I come out holding a washcloth to my eye. She digs out her Visine (the picture was taken after the Visine, I was in too much pain to think of blogging moments at the time) but I tell her NO WAY am I putting anything else in my eye!!! I give in a few minutes later mainly because I thought of something funny to do (imagine that)

Lisa was curling her hair as I begin putting the Visine in my eye. I then reenact what really happened when I put the enzyme cleaner in my eye as I clutch my eye, screaming again like a little girl. If only I had taken a picture of Lisa...HAHAHAHAHA She was so about to call 911...hahahahahahhahaha

More to come!!!!!!!!

Siesta Fiesta Recap

2008-08-26T18:05:00.004-05:00

Well it has taken me a couple of days to get rested up enough to post about this....
so here it goes.

I'd like to show ya'll that in the beginning of this trip I was reserved, quiet, and shy. Ok. Maybe not shy, but I was reserved. Here is a picture of me on Thursday with a group of women that took the riverboat cruise. I look pretty reserved, right? I'm on the bottom row, dark hair, blue shirt...next to Lisa.

Fast forward to Saturday night at the Fiesta PJ party...umm not so reserved. I'm the one in the middle, ahem, the one hogging the mike.

First of all I have say a big, Texas, "I'm sorry" to Tammy. She's the blonde beside me who would like to sing into the mike but never has the chance to. Tammy, I'm like SO sorry. I'm just so glad you didn't cry. Had I shared the mike with Elizabeth I'm not quite sure that she wouldn't have...(inside joke)

Anyway, I'm not real sure what came over me. One minute we all decided to sing together and then the next minute I'm totally sounding like Sandy/Olivia Newton-John and not only do I sound like her...I actually morph into her. I'm all of a sudden in my long sleeve gown in Frenchie's (or is it Rizz) backyard singing "Hopelessly Devoted to You". I even see Danny's face in a pool of water as I drop my perfumed paper into it........
Next thing I know, I'm back at the PJ party and the song is over! Ha!

Thanks to Holly, Tammy, Joanne, and Elizabeth for so much fun during this song!!! Thanks to Kate for taking the picture...if you didn't I might not have had a memory of this event! :P

Also to my karaoke sister, Georgia....I can't believe no one took our picture!!! Surely someone out there has one!!! You are like my singing soul mate...for realz.
I'm glad we live in the same hemisphere 'cause we have to get our karaoke groove on as soon as possible. How 'bout getting us a gig up there in Nashville??? I might just move the whole fam out there so we can make it big!!!

More on San Antonio later!!!!!

***UPDATE***
Sweet Joanne sent me some pics of me and Georgia!!! Thanks Joanne!!!!!
Ok...I'm not sure what we were laughing about but this is what took place during the ENTIRE PJ party!!!! This is what you call a horse laugh! HA! Look at my legs, this isn't a celebrity pose....it's a "tryin' not to pee my pants" pose...hahahahaha
Jenny...didn't you get me some Depends when you were on your Supermarket Sweep????

Hey Peeps!

2008-08-24T15:52:00.002-05:00

To my peeps that I met in San Antonio:

I will be posting soon.....I really wanted to jump in here and sit on the computer all evening reading everyone's blogs but I guess I need to spend a little time with the fam. If you are a little confused about whether you are on the right blog because the pictures don't really match what you saw in San Antonio.....don't worry...it is me...I was just a little bloated and maybe the next time you see me I will have taken a fluid pill or something. :)

Well until I can entertain you with my fly home story, go check out some of my favorite posts of mine under the disgruntled postman down below!

Love ya'll,
Brooke
PS If you were there for the kareoke....I'm so, so, sorry............. :))

San Antonio or bust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-21T07:38:00.002-05:00

Hey gals! I'm currently inside the Huntsville airport waiting to board our plane! Just thought I'd drop a line and say hi! So, hi!
We (Lisa and I ) are going to the Beth Moore conference and we can't wait to meet all the fiesta gals! I'm also gonna work on my new hobby while we're there...go check it out at geocaching.com. (Yes, I'm a total NERD!) :))
I'll post some pics when we get back!!!!
Yeehawwwww or Ole....whateva W>

Monkey see, monkey do.........

2008-08-07T22:17:00.005-05:00

So, I am still alive.....I am about to turn 30 though, so you never know....life could be over really soon :p (more on that to come...I promise.)

My pal and preacher's wife, Lisa, posted about a brain test that she has recently taken and I thought that that might make for an interesting topic for my blog as well. So...here it goes....

Tell me what you think....are they close?

Brooke, your results indicate a strong left-hemisphere dominance with a mild
preference for auditory processing. This blend would suggest that you are an
extremely efficient person, logical perhaps to an extreme. You tend to
structure
your life and learning in very precise ways.

You benefit
from
experience, seek the rational in situations and feel most comfortable
with
routine.

You are a detail person. You see each piece of a
puzzle or
situation with equal clarity and value, and thrive on your ability
to fit each
piece into a unifying structure.

Your learning style
tends toward the
auditory, which suggests that you process inputs
sequentially and classify each
before moving on to the next. You do,
however, possess sufficient visualization
skills and interest to supplement
the auditory tendency and render you more
active than a person who is purely
auditory.

In all likelihood you will
be somewhat reserved in
appreciating your own talents and understate your
abilities even to
yourself. You will organize your time and set schedules for
yourself and, in
that sense, lose sight of spontaneity and other needs - both of
yourself and
others. Your enviable organization, structure, and efficiency make
you a
valuable asset to a team effort.

This sentence:

You benefit from experience, seek the rational in situations and feel most comfortable with routine.

....is the only one that makes sense to me but still doesn't fit the bill....
I really do LOVE routines but that doesn't mean I ever have one. And really, who doesn't benefit from experience??? :))

So all in all I'm not really feelin' this brain test....go check out Lisa's! Her results are right on the money!!! HA!

More to come on my impending doom (30th birthday) and my new hobby...(like I need another one) thanks to Postmaster Earl.....If you somehow run across this, a big thanks to ya...this hobby actually helps me spend more time with my children!!!! (sad, huh?)

Eventually

2008-08-01T00:25:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna post soon...really.

Summer Sleepovers

2008-06-11T23:47:00.002-05:00

My daughter is having a friend over tonight..........

and they are in there cleaning. For fun.

What does that say about my house?

Deb, I've changed my mind about Amber. I want Ally. :))

(No offense Amber, but she has a longer stay-at-home life span)

Now this is service.......

2008-06-08T15:49:00.002-05:00

To all of you still looking for that stimulus check......

http://

....I'm on my way.

Siesta Ice Breaker

2008-06-03T20:09:00.003-05:00

My girls, Patty and Kim, over at The Siesta Fiesta Blog came up with these questions to help us get to know each other. I thought it would be fun to add to my blog!

1. If money were no object, what would your dream home look like?

Well if we were talking realistically I'd like to think I would say something really humanitarian like:
"Well, I've actually considered downsizing and giving the profits to missions or feeding the hungry in Africa."
But.......
we're pretending, right?

So, if money were no object I would probably have a 70 million dollar chateau in the South of France.
What? Brad and Angelina just got one? Nevermind.......

No really, I'd probably just have a modest 7,000 square foot home with a Creative Discovery Museum in one wing (for the kids) and a home gym in the other wing. No, I probably wouldn't use it but hey, I'd be out of excuses, right?

2. If money were no object where would you shop for clothes?

Rodeo Drive, Baby!!!!
Ha, just kidding....ummm I'm not really a fashion guru so Old Navy and Kohl's would be fine with me...oh and Target too!

3. If money were no object where would you like to go on vacation?

I have to pick one?
Wait. This is my fantasy list. I can pick as many as I want.
New York City.
Greece.
Italy.
Ireland.
Australia.
Cabo San Lucas
Hawaii.

4. If you could go back in time with whom would you spend a day with?

My grandpa, sitting at the bar in the kitchen, running his fingers through his gray hair. A kitchen towel folded up and put under his elbows where he could sit and pull the foil off of gum wrappers. I'd let him tell me story after story about his life even if I'd heard it a million times before.

5. If you could be an animal for a day what would you be and why?

One of those ankle biter chihuauhas. Maybe I could find a mailman to bite. :))

6. What is the bravest thing you have ever done?

I've fought a few fire breathing dragons in my time......

7. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

"You'd look real pretty if you lost some weight."
Ok. Maybe that was the worst! HA!

My dad told me once that he thought I was a good mother. That was nice to hear.

8. What gift have you received that you will always treasure?

My salvation and my family.

9. If you could only have one favorite food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Ok, does this mean that I get to only have this one food or do I get to have all the other mediocre food (like salad) and then this one favorite food? Because if so it would be donuts but if all I ate was donuts then I might be pretty sick of them after a while......Maybe I need to go on a donut diet to get it out of my system!!!!

10. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I refuse to answer this question. I don't want to hurt any of the other ice cream's feelings.

11. When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up?

President of the United States. Then I figured out you had to be really good at lying. I am a horrible liar.

12. Besides God who has influenced you the most?

Probably my grandpa.

13. What part of your daily routine do you enjoy the most?

Ummm...eating.

14. If you won 1 million dollars what would you do with it?

Tithe.Build my dream home. Go on a dream vacation. Help my family. Help build our life center at church.

15. What is your most fervent prayer?

For my friends and family who are lost

I Surrender All (There is no Plan B)

2008-05-29T23:59:00.002-05:00

I don't usually post this sort of thing. This goes way beyond my comfort zone. I like to be funny, to make people laugh. I like to be upbeat and be that someone who can lift someone up when they are down. I am usually terrible in expressing my feelings, so I just don't.

God has shown his face to me quite a bit here lately though and I just cannot not write about it. (English majors, back off. I'm doing my best here ;)

I've always been one of these people who thinks that if you've had a hard life or something terrible has happened in your past, just get over it. Start today with yourself and make it different. Don't be a victim. That's what I thought I was doing. I was over it. I was strong, independent. I could take care of myself and I didn't need anyone.

I became a Christian when I was a teenager during a rough period of my life. I went to church regularly with a friend and became reliant on God to change the things that were happening in my life. It wasn't in His plan to do so. I realize now that this is where I turned my back on Him. In my mind I hadn't done so but this is when I became self-reliant. I had to take care of me. I had to be in control.

Fast forward to the present and I am still fighting to keep my life in my control. This became apparent to me for the first time last year when we were on our women's retreat with the church.
Lisa spoke of Moses and about God asking him what was in his hand when He knew all along. Lisa asked us what we were holding and was it affecting our lives? God knows what it is, He just wants us to let go of it. (It's also here if you would like to read her Bible study)
I still think of that to this day, yet my hand is clenched ever so tightly. If He asked me what He asked Moses I would probably go as far as hiding it behind my back and answering, "Nothing, Lord. There is nothing there. I'm fine."
And it's not that I haven't tried giving it to Him, it's just the letting go part that I'm having trouble with. Will He really make things ok? My 13 year old self is telling me no.

Recently I have been having some problems with my almost-10-going-on-17 daughter. It has made me look at myself to see if I am to blame. That thing in my hand, the thing that was nothing. Apparently it is affecting the ones I love most. I have come to realize I am angry. I'm angry with my mother, with myself, Madeline's father, and maybe even God. That's scary to me to admit it. I often wonder though why, why didn't He answer my prayers? Why didn't He make it better?

I found myself walking on my route the other day and the chorus of "I surrender all" began to play in my head. I felt that He was telling me that before I can let Him be first in my life I had to surrender it all to Him. I wasn't sure how, (because still in my mind this is my life to control, right?) but I prayed that He would help me.

He showed up to me again last night as I was blogging. I'm not sure how I even found this blog but I do know that it wasn't an accident. I found Bring the Rain, the story of Angie and Todd Smith's daughter Audrey Caroline. (He sings with Selah) I sat here for hours reading and crying over the loss of their child. I knew it was God who sent me this blog when I came upon one of her posts that was titled I surrender all. Angie has an audio link of Todd singing this song which is to be on their next album. (To hear it you will first have to pause the song that starts when you first log on to her blog. Scroll down and on the left hand side click the pause button)
I hope if you don't know their story that you would start from the beginning and read through their journey. It was a blessing to read and has changed my outlook on trusting God and knowing that He will be there right beside me no matter what the road looks like ahead or even behind me. Angie said that even though they prayed for a miracle, they had a Plan B in case it wasn't in God's will to save her. She said though that there never was a Plan B. God had a plan all along. (Audrey's life has ministered to thousands!)

Sorry this was so long. Maybe I need a journal :)) Please pray for me that I will wash my hands of this "thing" and surrender it all to God. Pray that I will do away with my plans and let them be His plans for my life.

Un-Funniest Home Videos

2008-05-21T22:46:00.002-05:00

Do you ever wish that you could have someone follow you around with a video camera 24/7?
No?
Well I do.
I would so win. (more on this later)

Have you ever watched the show Funniest Home Videos?
I happened upon one the other day (this is not one I Tivo believe it or not) and they had the same old hit-dad-in-the-crotch videos. Jack does this to Jamie on a daily basis. I'm not sure why we haven't invested in -

A) one of those plastic thingys that athletes wear
OR
B) a video camera

This is the one time a 3 year old can cause an adult male to lay in the floor in a fetal position.
However, real life or t.v. video, this stops being funny after so many times.

Anyway, I thought I'd finally tell you my most embarassing moment in my 29 years of life.

Had this been caught on video I am almost certain I would be a millionaire today.
I'm sure there are still people who witnessed this event say "Hey, remember when that mailgirl.....". Yes. I'm still humiliated by the memory.

It was a lovely day about 5 years ago. I locked my mail truck and began my walking loop. (This is where I deliver mail walking. People seemed shocked when I tell them I have to walk so I just wanted to clarify)

Now just imagine the busiest intersection in your town. Ok. Unless all you have is a four way stop...that doesn't count.
Imagine its the busiest intersection in front of say the courthouse. It's also lunch time so it's even busier than usual. My left arm is cradling some mail and in my hand is a bundle of letters. The light is red where I'm trying to cross so I make my move. This move involves the oh-so-difficult step down and then step up, however, my brain and my feet weren't working together this paticular day. So, my brain thinks I've made the step when in fact the feet haven't caught on yet causing the top heavy bent-over walk/fall movement. (this is all in slow motion by the way)

As I was falling forward I thought that I might actually pull out of this one. I had completed a few steps in the bent-over walk/fall and was now directly in the middle of the street. Everything went down hill from there. Literally.

Not being able to break my fall with my left arm I crashed into the road knee/elbow/face first. The mail I was carrying went flying across the road in all directions. This is when time stood still along with all traffic in all directions. No one could go anywhere.

I saw a manhole cover and actually considered throwing myself into the sewer. I picked myself up and started picking mail up as fast as I could. It seemed like 10 minutes before I was able to get out of the road. NO ONE helped me.

I finally got to the other side with my bleeding knee, elbow, and ego.

I'd like to say that that was my last fall but I can't. None, however, has yet to top that one!!!!

5 Ways to Avoid the Wal-Mart Meltdown*

2008-05-15T13:32:00.004-05:00

1. Do not even drive by Wal-Mart if it is even close to nap time. (especially if you don't really NEED to go)

2. If you are foolish enough to do this don't even think about pushing the cart anywhere near the left hand side of the building. (This is where our toy section is for those of you with a backwards Wal-Mart). If you need something from Health and Beauty aid, gardening center, or the photo center just FORGET IT, TURN BACK NOW!!!!

3. If you do get close to the toy section and decide to give in....you are wasting your breath if you have this conversation with a 3 year old.

Me: (getting eyeball to eyeball) Ok. We can look but we are not buying anything. OK?

Jack: Ok.

4. If you have had a conversation with your husband about buying Jack a bike and decide maybe you can go ahead and get it while you are there, immidiately attempt to run over your own toes with the shopping cart. Believe me. It will quit hurting momentarily.
Jack was too big for the smallest bike and that was The One He Wanted. We will secretly buy the bigger one later. (and yes....I did tell him we were not buying anything so now I'm giving him mixed signals.)

5. Never try to rationalize with a napless 3 year old who has been known to throw explosive temper tantrums when deciding not to buy said item.
I now wish I would have bought the smaller bike before the tantrum started, I mean, c'mon I knew it was coming. I could have taken it back later and saved myself from an hour of intense screaming. (Him not me....of course I wanted to....)

So, maybe this is all common sense to you.

Maybe you are saying, you should have known better.

Well I know.....*sigh* please tell me I'm not the only one who does stupid things like this!!!! (I also need encouragement that this will get better!!!)

*This child is not immune from good ole' fashion whippins. This instance, however, was entirely my fault. Any advice on tantrums is welcomed!!!!

Some things I learned in Mexico

2008-05-12T05:49:00.001-05:00

1. I missed my children more than I thought I would

Does that sound horrible that I considered the thought that I wouldn't miss them? We left Madeline and Jack with their Nana and Pawpaw. Jack usually loves going over there and when we drop him off he never looks back. This time, however, he knew something was different when we packed the trunk with suitcases. That child has never clung to me so hard than he did when we were leaving. I felt like dirt. I had to pry him off of me and watch him screaming as we backed out of the driveway. I did call before we boarded the plane and they said he was fine but you know how grandparents are....they want you to believe they are little angels when they have them. Right......
Anyway, we missed them like crazy but enjoyed our time alone very much!!!!

Thank you Connie and Snuffy! We owe you one.*

*Restrictions apply. HA!

2. Don't drink the water in Mexico

Yes. I did know this before we went and I didn't drink any water that wasn' t on our resort or that wasn't bottled but.......I did drink some ocean water. I have always wanted to snorkel and our last day there we took this little chug boat about a mile out from our resort. I felt a little queasy from the boat ride but once we were there I was fine. We jumped out and everything was fine for a while. First of all, I didn't realize that snorkeling required so much work.

Does this person (not me) look like she is exerting herself? No. She looks like she's having a great time doesn't she???? Well my picture wouldn't look so amazingly tranquil and exotic. This girl is not wearing a life jacket. This is required and without one I would imagine it would be even more work trying to keep yourself afloat. My bulky life jacket was scrubbing my underarms and making it difficult for me to enjoy the barren reef we were looking at. Yes, I said barren. I was thinking where are all the fish???
Finally they started coming around but I started feeling sick. I was having to readjust my mouthpiece and every time I did, I would get a little salt water in my mouth. I finally told my friend Jennifer that I wasn't feeling good and that I was getting back in the boat. I started swimming toward the boat but didn't make it before I started vomiting.
Now, if you've ever vomited in water up to your neck then you know that the vomit doesn't have very far to go other than right around your head. You also cannot wretch forward with a life jacket on so it ends up just cascading off your chin. Jennifer called out to me and asked if I was going to be sick. All it took was one look and she knew. I still had chunks on my chin.
While this is all happening the Mexican on the boat is calling to me. He was saying "you ok. c'mon now. you ok." When I tell this in person my Mexican accent somehow turns to an Asian one. Why I don't know....anywhoooo....
I finally get back on the boat (at least 5 pounds lighter...Judith would have been proud....) and we all start back for the shore. There was a stranger that went with us and he asked me if I puked. (Maybe it was still on my chin?) He said, "Wow, is that why the fish started swimming around us???" I'm glad I could provide them with their dinner!
The boat driver decided to drop us off at the public beach where the local Mexicans swim (just a short walk from our resort) As we approached the shore Jennifer leaned over the side of the boat and barfed right in the water where they were swimming. You don't need to know Spanish to know that they were grossed out!!!! HA!

I think I learned more than not to drink the water in Mexico....I'm pretty sure that I'll never go snorkeling again.

Well I didn't realize it but this is turning into a novel! HA! I will break this down into mini posts. Here are some pictures from our trip!

Our balcony

The view from our balcony

More to come!!!!!!!!!!

IM FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-10T22:02:00.004-05:00

My preacher's wife, Lisa , may have a book deal but does she have papparazzi????

I'm driving down the road trying to do my job and some guy jumps out of the bushes and starts snapping pictures of me. Can't a girl just be left alone? HAHAHAHAHA!

So, here I am, I've made my first newspaper debut! (Yes, it is on the fridge!)

Ok. Maybe this was all planned. Maybe there really wasn't a guy who jumped out of the bushes. But hey, a girl can dream right? Watch out Angelina Jolie the competition is moving up!!!

This picture was taken because we were getting ready for our annual food drive that we do. They told me to not look at the camera and not smile. So, how hard do you think that was? HA! I ended up looking like I was mad or disgusted! HA!

I'm still working on my Mexican review.........stay tuned!!!!!

Well I'm now going to get my lazy tail off this computer and spend time with my kids. Lisa made me feel like a total loser with her latest post. HA!!!!

Leav-ingggg on a jet plane..................

2008-04-22T06:10:00.002-05:00

Hasta Luega mi amigas. Vamanos Mexico!!!!!!!!!!! Neccesito de tripo muy mucho!!!!!

De tripo? I know. I know. Well I don't think Dora or Diego has went over that word yet. HA!
It's pretty sad that I took 2 years of Spanish in high school and all I can remember is the basic Hello and the color song. I'm taking along my Spanish for Dummies book although I'm really hoping everyone there knows perfect English!!! HA!

If you think of me tomorrow say a quick prayer that my airline pilot has had ample hours of sleep!!!!

Adios Amigas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm almost regular!!!!!

2008-04-15T22:38:00.002-05:00

Ok. Not that kind of regular! HA!

On April 26th, after 8 long years, I will finally be regular or what the post office considers full time. I will have my own route that I will run (walk, or fall) everyday and I will have a regular off day!!! YAY!!!! (Paid Holidays too)

My off day will be on Thursday so if any of you gals wanna go shopping call me up!!!!

I have also started a weight loss program through my church called First Place. We just finished week one and I have lost 8 1/2 pounds!!!!! I was the biggest LOSER!!!! Only about 80 more to go........*sigh*

Oh and next week we are heading to CANCUN MEXICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited!!!!! (no kids!!!)

Well it's late and I just thought I'd throw ya'll a bone or two to get ya by for a while! HA!
Goodnight!

When I write again I might tell you what Jack is sticking through a DVD hole...............

Dear Mr. City Cop,

2008-03-28T23:06:00.002-05:00

Why do you want to pull me over?
Don't you know I'm in a hurry?
Yes, I know I don't have a tag, or proof of insurance, or a bill of sale, and I was speeding
but hey, we're pals, right?
We both work to serve the public
(you do want your mail don't ya?)
I'm wearing a uniform can't you see?
Cut me a break, I just bought this car
see, poke your head in here, it still has that new car smell!
No?
Well ok, just walk back to your car with my license then.....
Please Lord.....I'm sorry I didn't pray this morning but can you listen now?
Ok...where are the tears....oh forget it, I just put my makeup on
I'm gonna hurt my brother for this
He didn't have to take the tag yet...
yeah, I know...maybe it wasn't his fault I was speeding
or that I didn't have my insurance card with me
but I gotta blame somebody right now
Oh here he comes....
great. He has a clipboard. not a good sign.
Yada. Yada. Yada. get a bill of sale..slow it down.....here's your ticket.
So, thanks Mr. City Cop for doing such a great job today
You deserve something really great but nothing really comes to mind right now
Have a nice day?
Yep. there's nothing like being late for work AND having a ticket
Have a nice day too!
Sincerely, The Mailgirl

**I went to the city hall after work with my proof of insurance and they dismissed it.

Puppy dog tails.....and pee on the seat?????

2008-02-26T22:55:00.002-06:00

Is this what boys are made of???

Ok, yes. I know. I did grow up with a younger brother. I am quite aware of the male species' lack of aim. What I don't get is why my husband taught my just-newly-potty-trained son that real men pee standing up.

Couldn't he sit down to pee for at least 6 months? Would this have totally ruined his masculinity? I mean, in 6 months he might actually be tall enough to pee inside of the toilet instead of having a bathroom fountain spraying all over my toothbrushes? (*Note to self: Get new toothbrush tomorrow)

Secondly, I'm one of these people who think you should touch the toilet as little as possible. Yes, even in my own home. My husband did teach Jack to lift the seat before relieving himself but I'm not so sure that's a good thing either. C'mon if you've lived with a man, you know what's under there.......and I know...germs are not gonna kill him but now I have to clean that thing everyday now knowing my little baby is having to pee like a man.......

I did want him potty trained, right?

Angels are Singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-11T21:56:00.000-06:00

Ok...maybe it's just me imagining the heavenly hallelujahs.......

JACK POOPED IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry if this seems so unfunny, uninteresting, or just plain boring but I don't care!!!!!!!!!! I'm free from the poop!!!!! (Maybe. It was just one time.)

I came close to taking a picture of it and putting it on here but I rethought it. You can thank me later. :))

No, I haven't quit.........yet.

2008-02-05T21:58:00.001-06:00

I haven't quit blogging completly, I've just been pulling my hair out over this:

Why, do you ask, is the potty behind the end table? This is Jack's famous pooping spot. The end table you see is the exact one in which he placed a lovely turd on. Anyway, he loves to stand back there in complete privacy and relieve himself. So, I figured I would put his potty back there and he just might decide to sit on it.

I found him standing beside it doing his business the next day.

So, I had to make him sit on it and this is why he's crying.

I'm about to strap him back on a diaper and say, "Dude, go for it."

I'm just at my wit's end. He will pee in the potty and is even wearing underwear all day...but get this....he will go get a pull up when he needs to do the number 2. Is there some kind of Freudian philosophy to this?? Why does he have a turd-in-the-potty-hang-up????

Lisa, Can you dream me up an answer for this??? HA! (Ya'll go check out Lisa's crazy dreams!!!! She's over there on my blogroll under the preachers' wife!)

Do you miss me???`

2008-01-23T23:38:00.000-06:00

Yeah well. Stop pressuring me to be funny. I just can't take it anymore. Really.

So, while I'm having a blogger's block.....here is a couple of funny posts to get you by. Sue is hilarious, you're gonna love her. I almost gasped a minute ago because I thought she actually added me to her blog roll......turns out there are more Brooke's in this world other than me. Who knew?

They are so going to take away my chick card This is SO me. I was laughing til I was crying...but then again that's almost every post she writes.

And one more.

Things I Want To Have Happen This Year But They Probably Won’t Because I Unfortunately Do Not Control The Universe & Also God Does Not Like Show-Offs
Ok. This one I think I was actually laughing until I was making some weird dying sound.

Ok. Enjoy. Maybe next time I'll be back to pen something funny that I can actually claim.

I got nothin'

2008-01-14T22:27:00.000-06:00

I got nothin' to give.

I'm blank. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.

It's pretty sad that my only excitement lately is that they have opened some new lanes in the town I deliver mail in. Now I don't have to cut so many people off when I pull out of every bloomin' business I deliver to. Woohoo.

What else? Oh. My hubby just barfed like he was dying.
A. He is dying.
B. He's allergic to the antibiotics they gave him at the dentist today.
or
C. He has a stomach virus.

I'm really pulling for B.

And what's with this writer's strike? What is it exactly that they want? 1 million, 2 million, c'mon people, rich is rich, right?

I NEED something new on t.v.!!! I couldn't even watch any stars strut down the red carpet last night because they didn't show up for the Golden Globes. I believe I would have crossed the picket lines to get my award. Hey, and just think, all the attention would be on me. They would ask me, "Brooke, Brooke, who are you wearing tonight?" I would say, "Oh, this old thing? I got it at a thrift store over on Rodeo Drive........"

See, I'm tellin' ya. I got nothin'.

I love free stuff

2008-01-04T06:21:00.000-06:00

If you've wondered why I've been absent from blogging it's because I have become a total coupon nerd.

I have a friend that I work with that has introduced me to Walgreens and the Sunday paper coupons.

I now have become addicted to getting things for free or next to nothing. Are these things always something I need? No. But who cares? It's free, right? I'm sure I'll use it at some point in time or give it away to someone in need.

Here is an example of a good buy.....Crest with Scope on sale for 2.49. 1.00 Sunday coupon and 1.00 Walgreens coupon and waaalaa (or Voila).... Crest with Scope .49 cents!!!! You can't beat that with a stick now can ya?

Now, here is an example of a good buy but not so good buy.....Nice and Easy Copper Red Hair Color on sale for 3.49. Sunday paper coupon for 3.00 and with the Walgreens coupon it made it FREE!!!

Does anyone need any Nice and Easy Copper Red Hair Color?? :))

And the winner is...................

2008-01-02T07:08:00.000-06:00

And the winner is........................

ANGELA @ Dimple Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats Angela!!!!

I'll find out later this afternoon how we can get in touch to get your address!

Ya'll go on over and congratulate her!!!!! Thanks for everyone else who played...it was fun!

CONTEST!!!!! Are you a movie buff???

2007-12-19T22:43:00.001-06:00

My sister and I love movie quotes. If anything remotely close to a movie quote is said we usually will look at each other and say the movie quote. I love it! So, I've dug up some of my favorites and I'm making a contest out of it!!!! My first one!!! The winner will receive a $20 gift card to Starbucks!!!! (Oh, and reading other people's comments before answering is also considered cheating!!! :))

This is open to everyone, so all of you lurkers post your answers for a chance to win!!!!

Here are the rules: No cheating!!!! Only God and you will know of course but as you are slurping down that frappacino you might just choke on it...just kidding! HA! If you get at least 5 right you will be entered into the drawing and I will pick someone at random. The contest will end on New Years Eve at midnight!!!!!

1. Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.
(Way too easy)

2. I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!

3. -Can we get there in your car?
- Who told you I had a car?
-The men in the village.
-They told you I had a car? They are such comedians. They meant my little mule: Pepe.

4. -Tell me what was so special about your wife?
-Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.

5. ....these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
- Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

6. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die

7. Do you like sweet plum or cherry? (I'll be surprised if anyone other than my sis gets this one!)

8. Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

9. I AM NOT A FISH! How many times do I have to tell you people that? So, can you please just let me outta here? Huh? Please? People?

10. Who rang that bell?

11. I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack.

12. I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna let me go!

13. Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

14. I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.

15. Hey, you're all right. I didn't do nothing any decent person wouldn't have done. Dumb dog.

16. Toe Pick!!!

Good Luck!!!!! ( I got this great idea from Dawn over at Because I said so...Love it!)

"Mom, what is sperm???"

2007-12-19T12:36:00.000-06:00

Me: "Oh, you know, when you go to the salon and get your hair curly." (She didn't just say sperm did she???)

Madeline: "No mom. Not perm. Sperm."

Me: "Oh, um, well.....why???"

Madeline: "My teacher said to ask you."

Me: "What???"

Madeline: "Well she was reading us a book about crabs....."

Me: "WHAT? What do you mean crabs?"

Madeline: "You know, they crawl around on the sand near the ocean!"

Me: "Oh. And...."

Madeline: "Well the teacher said something about the male crab and sperm but she didn't feel comfortable explaining what it was and thought you should."

Me: "Well lucky me."

Madeline: "Well, what is it?"

Ok...so I won't go into what I told her but sheesh, I was definitely not ready to talk "the talk" last night. Where was my warning?

"Mrs, Mom, we read a book about sperm today and you might want to have a good definition ready because she will ask." Thanks Mrs. Teacher

Ok. She is nine. I guess I should've already had the talk with her but I have my reasons. Really, I do. Madeline is a talker. I haven't a clue where she got it from but she is. If she is told ANYTHING you might as well have told the whole fourth grade class. So, I feel like I have done all the other mothers a favor by not telling Madeline the facts of life. Well, and also because I just wasn't ready for her know either!!!!

I think I'm gonna send her teacher a note saying "Hey, thanks for giving me the "birds and the bees" oppurtunity. I was just dying to tell her ALL about it." :))

Get in Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-15T06:45:00.001-06:00

Does anyone other than me fight with their kids to get them to go to sleep?
My son gets out of bed at least 5 times. I was gonna say 50 but I think that's a tad over-exaggerated.
I wish for a June Cleaver moment as I tuck them into bed, kiss them goodnight, and leave them smiling and already dreaming as I tiptoe out the door.......
It's only a wish though.....Jack only goes to sleep after I've threatened to whip him like 50 times. I know. There lies the problem. I threaten. And threaten. I just hate to whip him and then say "Good night sweetie, sweet dreams" ....after I just thrashed him with a belt...ya know?
Why can't they be like us and dream of the moment that our heads finally hit the pillow and never even remember falling into a deep, dark coma. Well, that is, until a 3 year old climbs in the bed and kicks you for a couple hours before you wake up enough to realize some kid is in your bed interrupting your peaceful dream of McDreamy, I mean Jamie....

Anywhoo.....I found this song that fits......listen to it. Seriously. You have time.

Bah Humbug!

2007-12-06T22:22:00.000-06:00

Not really. I love Christmas...

but I'd be glad to stuff a hundred dollar bill in that red bucket as long as he would quit ringing that darn bell............maybe I'll ask him the next time I go in Walmart for the fifth time this week!

::

Do you ever wonder why the meteorolgoists tell us the cloud conditions at night? "Tonight, partly cloudy and cold" .....
"No camping tonight kids, it's gonna be cloudy!".

I think it's waaayyy past my bedtime. :))

1-800-KissMyRear

2007-12-03T21:48:00.001-06:00

This is my new customer service number.
(Please don't really call this, there is no telling what you might get.)

It's the 3rd of the month and that means I was one popular girl around town today. (Unless their check didn't come, then my name is mud.)

Being the sweet, caring, mailgirl that I am I change my route around on the third so that my sweet little old ladies can get their check and get to the bank before it closes. Now, mind you, I'm not crossing town to do this...I'm crossing the street. Normally I would get the right hand of the street and come back a couple hours later and get the other side. Yes, it may not make sense to you that I don't just deliver the other side while I'm there but trust me, this is just how this route runs.

Anywho...I get back to the post office at dark-thirty and finally breathe a sigh of relief that the day is finally over. (Don't worry I did remember my son today.)
My supervisor came to me and told me that someone called with a complaint.
On me? No way!
She seemed somewhat amused so I wasn't too worried but when she finished I was stunned at the audacity of some people. This person called and did not want to give the supervisor their exact address but gave the street and wanted to make a complaint on "the mailgirl". This guy said that I looked like I didn't know what I was doing.....he knows how I normally deliver the mail and I wasn't doing that. He actually said that he didn't have anything better to do and would watch me.....every day. (Freaky.)

Can you believe that he actually picked up the phone, dialed the post office, and made this crazy complaint??? Sheesh....GET A LIFE, PEOPLE!!!!!

Ok. Now I feel better.

Do I have any friends?

2007-12-02T15:53:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure if this saying is just from my era or a regional thing but saying to someone, "Do I have any friends?" and tilting your head slightly upward is a way of asking "Do I have any boogers?" without saying "Do I have any boogers?"

I feel, however, that if you really have friends (not boogers, but actual human friends) that if you were to have a booger or say, a strawberry seed inbetween their two front teeth, they would tell you right? Well I'm not so sure of this.

We had a baby shower for Melissa today at church and I devoured a scrumptious plate of "baby shower" delicacies. (Mrs. Mann, that cake was AWESOME...I don't know why Nancy was cutting the pieces so little) I also had some strawberries with cream cheese dip which I probably should have avoided......

After we all ate we sat and chatted for a while (sorry Melissa, there is only so much blue you can oohh and awwwh over :)) We discussed teeth, denistry, and how important it is to floss (One of them is a dentist's assistant, the other was the preacher's wife ). I tell them all goodbye and when I get to the car and look in the mirror, low and behold, I have a strawberry seed inbetween my two front teeth!!!!

Where are all my friends to tell me I have "friends"??? :P

Are you smarter than a 4th grader?

2007-11-28T05:46:00.000-06:00

Obviously, I'm not. *sigh*

My daughter brought home math homework the other day and said she left a paper at school that was supposed to help her with the homework. I told her to get her book out and I would help her. I thought to myself, "How hard could this be?" Surely I can do 4th grade math!
Well when she opened to the page I was hoping she wasn't noticing the wave of nauseousness coming over me.
It was geometry of some sort. Squares and square roots. Measurements. Math problems in the form of paragraphs. I was breaking out into cold sweats, could she tell?

You: "Aren't you going to school to be a teacher??"

Me: *blank stare*

Ok. I took calculus in college for heaven's sake! It was 10 years ago, mind you, but still....shouldn't I know how to do 4th grade math????
I did learn last semester in my "teaching math" class that 4th grade is the year that students start to fear math, so maybe this is why I'm freaking out!?!

Please will someone out there tell me I'm not the only one who can't help their child with their homework??? HA! :))

UPDATE:
I calmed down and actually read the section she was on and was able to help her. I figured out the sheet she left at school was grid paper. We slapped some squares down on paper and got 'er done. (Read that last sentence as country as you can.)

Oh, and don't be scared to have your child in my classroom one day! HA! I think my next class I take will be a refresher math class, do they teach 4th grade math in college????
I assure you that before I try to "teach" math I will know what I'm doing. Hopefully.

Coming soon............

2007-11-27T22:44:00.001-06:00

A new post....if I can get up early enough. HA!

Gosh, I feel so loved by ya'll that have missed me!!!! :))

"Are you expecting again?"

2007-11-14T21:40:00.001-06:00

This is the question that can send you spiraling into a deep dark depression quicker than anything other than actually being pregnant. Well, unless you want to be.
Yes.
Someone asked me this today.
Yes.
I wanted to shoot myself.
I mean, what do you say to this? No, moron. I'm just fat?
Ok. I do wear a uniform shirt that doesn't tuck in. It has pockets in the front and when laying against my fat roll just so, I suppose you could mistake if for a pregnancy. But still. Have you noticed our fat society in America today? The majority of us fatsos that gorge on fast food 4 to 5 days a week have a fat roll or two....it doesn't mean we're pregnant.
Oh, and its not like the rest of my body isn't chubby. Can you not tell my arse is bigger too???? That just maybe I've gained some weight? Uggghhh.

So maybe there are some of you out there that has made this mistake and I'm here to help you. If you see someone who you think is pregnant:

1. Just don't ask. What does it matter if they are?

2. Don't dare pat their fat roll and say "whoa girl, just how far along are you?"

3. If you just can't stand it and have to ask try to ask without actually asking "Are you expecting?" Try this instead: "So, how are feeling? You look wore out!" If they are indeed pregnant you will get the response you are looking for such as: "Oh, just horrible, If this baby doesn't come out soon I'm gonna croak!" If she isn't you might get: "Yeah, come to think of it I am wore out and a little hungry too. Wanna go get some pizza?"

4. Just because she is wearing a shirt that ties in the back, it DOES NOT mean she's expecting. (I refuse to buy these shirts because usually you're just asking for it then.)

I'm sure there are more points to add but I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm gonna go to the Biggest Loser website and see if they are taking applications for next year.

I digress. (or whatever you say to change the subject)

On a more serious note I have an urgent prayer request. A fellow mail carrier that I work with was in a tragic car accident last night and is in very bad shape. It crushed him from his waist down and ruptured his liver and spleen. He also has swelling in the brain and has lost a lot of blood. His name is Jody Hanback. Please lift his name up in prayer and pray that God will bring him through this!

My new theme song.....

2007-11-11T09:37:00.000-06:00

Dawnover at Because I said so posted a video of Tim Hawkins, a Christian comedian who is HILARIOUS!!!! I went over to youtube to find more videos and I found my new theme song. In this video Tim is talking about corporations taking over church songs......

IF you know about my Krispy Kreme craze you will understand why this is my new theme song!!!! Go to youtube.com and listen to more of Tim Hawkins on marriage, parenting, and other funny stuff!!!

Oh and where are my girls??? This is not looking good for girls night.....Am I gonna have to fly girls in from California because my local girls won't come? Deb, I still expect you to come even if are having a wisdom tooth cut out at 3pm that day. Your hands can still draw for Pictionary right???

Anyone up for a girl's night???

2007-11-10T06:52:00.000-06:00

I know this is a little last minute but I'm hosting a MaryKay/ Girls night at my house on Friday Nov. 16th at 6pm. Holly will be set up here but I also wanted to just have everyone over and have some fun.

Some girls at church mentioned that they had seen the movie "License to Wed" and said it was hilarious, so I thought about renting that and we all can just hang out, maybe play some board games too! ( I am a Pictionary champ, just ask my friend Jennifer!)

Anyone up for it??

(I'll have Krispy Kreme donuts!!!!!)

Ya'll let me know!!!!

Have you ever googled your name???

2007-11-08T10:30:00.001-06:00

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and found out that she had googled her name and found someone with the same name who had written a book. Somehow through the blog world they starting communicating and my friend found her to be this facsinating person who travels around the world.
So, I got to thinking. I wonder how many Brooke _____'s there are out there. Would it be someone facsinating???

Here is what I came up with:

The new character on Grey's Anatomy who has taken Dr. Burke's place as head of thoracic surgery. Her real life name is Brooke _____. Interesting, but I bet we will never be in touch.

Next, I found a Brooke S____ who is some sort of anchor person at a news station in Birmingham, AL. She was also runner-up in "The Bachelor" about 5 years ago.

Lastly and most hilarious (to me at least) is Brooke S____ a former spokesperson for..........

KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS!!!!!

I found an article where she had been interviewed and I am not making this up, this was really in the article!!!!

"Doughnuts are a normal part of a healthy, balanced diet," said Brooke _____, a spokeswoman for Krispy Kreme. "We are a taste treat."

Does anyone wanna ride to Chattanooga with me to see if the "hot now" sign is flashing???

I'm definitely emailing this person if I can, I think we will be great friends. I also have no doubt she will be fascinating!!! HAHA!

I found another mail girl!!!!

2007-11-07T10:15:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine who reads my blog (but doesn't leave comments...don't you know this kills my self-esteem?) sent me a text message to let me know there was another mail girl who was funny.
Ok, does this mean she's funnier than me?
So, of course I must go check her out to see.
Yep, she's funny and now my new BFF, only she doesn't know it yet. It seems though that I have stolen her name.....

Well instead of up cleaning the house on my non-scheduled day I'm reading EVERY one of her posts, laughing my guts out.

Go check out this post. I've been wanting to write a post about this but she nailed it so need for me to do it....just read hers.
What not to say to your mail carrier

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

2007-11-06T06:24:00.000-06:00

My new blog friend Becky over at Stuck in a Frump has tagged me and now I must list 7 random things about me.

I've been wanting to do the one that I have been seeing on other blogs where they list 100 things about themselves but I thought to myself that 50 of them would probably be pet peeves so maybe I shouldn't do one!

I like to keep things positive as not to upset my peaceful internal balance. I'm laughing hysterically now.

Anywhoo, let's get started.

1. I am the Queen of Klutz

If you took the average amount of steps I take on a daily basis and compare it to the average human being (yes aliens are excluded here) you will note that I am on my feet and my fall/step ratio may be justified a tad more than the average person. Looking at my graphs, I would say that I fall an average of 12.8 times a year. That .8 times is the time I almost fall, catch myself, but is still qualified as an embarrassment. (Unless no one witnessed such fall, then if not it is then thrown out.) One of these falls is my "most embarrasing story" moment. Had this fall been captured on tape, I would be a millionaire. No joke. There are probably still people that see me in Wal-mart when I'm wearing my uniform and say, "Look, there's that mail carrier that fell in the road that day!" Maybe I'll tell this one day.

2. I am the Queen of Procrastination

I have 6 assignments due by midnight tonight for my health class, but I'm blogging. I keep telling myself I work better under pressure. I really do. My family suffers though. Have you seen the commercials for the anti-deppresant drug and the ad says "Who does depression hurt?" Well my slogan should say, "Who does procrastination hurt?" Yes. Everyone.

3. I long to be an organized person

I believe if HGTV came to my house and helped me organize it, it would be back to the way it is now within 48 hours. Seriously. What is wrong with me?

4.I'm not a morning person

Well, let's back up. I'm not a nice person when I wake up no matter what time of day, so this includes nice Sunday afternoon naps as well. I don't like this about myself at all. I wish I could wake up every morning like every day was a field trip or like Cinderella when the birds wake her up and she instantly starts singing and making her bed....

It doesn't help that when I stumble into the kitchen to make coffee my husband is laughing at me. I love him, I really do. Just not at 4:30am. Apparently he thinks I'm hilarious right when I wake up. Maybe it's the scowl on my face, the dried slobber on the side of my cheek, or the rat's nest I have for hair?

Wow. This has turned into 7 ways I could bash myself. I am so depressed now.

5. I have never met a donut I didn't like

Not much I can add to that one.

6. I have struggled with my weight most of my life

Don't even try to suggest that 5 and 6 have any correlation whatsoever. I'm attempting to get Madeline to grow up to be a scientist so she can discover why some people have the fat gene and some don't. It's funny to me that my brother and sister have never had much of a weight problem. Interesting. Now where did I put those donuts?

7. My life consists of theme songs

The day of the postman is a lonely one. Walking or driving along there is nothing to do but think. (Unless you have a bluetooth and someone who will talk to you on the phone all day, I don't.)

There is also no radio.

Except the one in my head.

One example of this is when there is something obstructing my way, construction, ect. and I must get by. I, in my ingenious thinking, get around it and when I do a chorus begins in my head: (turn your volume up and press the play button twice)

"Nothin' gets to you stayin' fresh, stayin' cool...."

I am tagging Deb, Lisa, Cheryl, and Melissa. I don't care if you have already done this!!!! I want 7 NEW random things!!!! MUAAHHHHHAAAAAAAA

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

2007-11-06T06:21:00.000-06:00

Coming later today........

Looking for terds in all the wrong places......

2007-11-02T22:29:00.001-05:00

Ok. Maybe this is not something I should post about, but blogging is really about real life, right?

So, if you are a little on the squeamish side scroll on down for a little less graphicness....is that a word?

First of all, is terd spelled with an "e" or a "u"??? It rhymes with nerd so we'll go with the "e". I didn't try spell check but I'm not so sure they have that word in the dictionary.

Anywhooo, I was blogging a few hours ago (and still at it...wow, I feel like a loser) and all of sudden Madeline says kinda nonchalantly, "Mom, Jack's pooping over here."

Recently I had decided that he wouldn't wear pull-ups anymore because I was convinced that he was using them as a crutch. He would actually bring me a pull-up to poop in. Needless to say, I was wrong.

I ran over (behind the end table) to see how far into the process he had gotten and didn't see any in the floor so I grabbed him up and ran into the bathroom with him, thinking, "Phew, we made it...we might be actually getting somewhere this time!!!" Then, I hear Madeline say "EWWW MOM, GROSS!!! THERE IS A TERD ON THE END TABLE!!!!"

Well at least the Salmonella from last night's raw chicken lickin' hadn't caused any bloody diarrhea yet. This was an intact terd. I made him (with a wipe in his hand, I'm not sure why...it didn't bother him 2 minutes ago to touch it) pick it up and put it in the potty....after I tanned his hide of course!

I'm at my wit's end ya'll. No kidding, I feel like this kid is gonna wear diapers until he's 16!!!! I can see it now. Ok. No, I can't. I tried to go there and I WILL NOT get a visual.

Well maybe I need to go read some more of my "Screamfree Parenting" book. Hopefully Chapter 4 will have some insight into why I scream my bloody head off when there is poop in places there shouldn't be.

Does anyone have the number for poison control?

2007-11-01T16:08:00.000-05:00

Ok. Obviously I'm not really panicking because instead of waiting on comments from my blog friends I would be googling this matter...maybe I should. Hold on.

Ok. I'm back. I think we're gonna be ok. The worst that could come of this is headache, fever, and some bloody diarrhea.

I came home from work today feeling a little domestic. Notice I said "a little". I broke out the Campbell's Cream of Chicken Soup and found a recipe on the inside of the label and had some chicken that needed to be used before it became another smelly thing in my fridge. Now, I'm totally weird when it comes to chicken. I despise handling it and have an immense fear of Salmonella poisoning. Raw chicken is just gross and I'm spending half the time in the kitchen washing my hands before I touch anything after I've touched the slimy gross chicken.

So, I start with pounding the chicken with a can of cream of chicken soup. No, the recipe doesn't call for this but I saw it on some cooking show I usually just watch for entertainment...not practical use. I did, however, remember that to make the chicken thinner you can pound it with something. Anyway, you can thank me later for the tip, as I was doing this Jack came in and decided he would stick his fingers in the raw chicken pack. Before I can throw down the can and grab him, he sticks his fingers in his mouth.

Did I tell you I received my book "Screamfree Parenting" in the mail yesterday? I'm on the third chapter but It hasn't given me any information on what to do if your child licks raw chicken. So, I'm not sure what I yelled ...maybe something about bacteria....what did you think it was a cupcake??....something like that as I'm running him to the bathroom, feeling the vomit rise to my throat. I thoroughly wash his hands 4 times and when I turn the water off he looks up at me and says, "I love you, mama". I can't help but smile as I put my hands around his neck to choke him hug him close and tell him I love him too.

Well supper is over and I still can't stomach the lovely chicken I baked for my precious family. Maybe later I'll eat some Frosted Flakes. :))

Where are the clowns???

2007-10-29T04:46:00.000-05:00

First of all, thank you Wendy for this material!!!

This past Saturday night a group from my church attended the Casting Crowns concert. It was awesome!!! Before the concert we ate at Ryans which was also awesome. There's nothin' like a basket full of buttery rolls just waiting to be devoured. Sorry to the girls who sat with me, I'm not sure if you even got one or not! HA!

Yes Melissa, I'm off my diet.

Anyway, as we were all walking into the civic center I overheard one couple in particular, I won't mention any names, (Robbie and Wendy) to save you from embarrassment. Well really Wendy I guess. Apparently neither one are Casting Crowns fans but were up for a date night regardless who was singing. Anyway, I heard Robbie saying "Where are the clowns??" followed by some laughing...This sparked my attention because A) I love to be in the middle of a good laugh, especially one that either makes you cry or your stomach hurt (unless you have just eaten a bazillion rolls at Ryans) and B) because I'm not entirely a fan of clowns. I thought to myself that if there were going to be clowns here I'm gettin' out of here! Not that I'm really scared of them...but just because I think they're dumb. Ok, yeah I'm scared of 'em.

So, come to find out, Wendy has thought the entire time that we were going to see "Casting Clowns"!!!! How hilarious is that??? She finally realizes when she gets their tickets before we left on Saturday when she read it and said "Oh, it's Casting Crowns, not clowns!" So, thanks Wendy for the laugh!!!

On a completely different note, I have a question to ask. Why do you not hear anything about the 'terrible three's'??? Now, I have a nine year old daughter who was, believe or not, three at one time. However, she cannot be compared to the average child because God sent me an angel because, I think, He knew I was going through enough already at the time!

Anyway, now I have Jack.

I love Jack, but Jack is three.

I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND.

I have ordered a book for, ahem, a friend. Yes, this friend is in desparate need of this book. "Screamfree parenting".

Yeah, you got me. It's really for me.

I caught myself screaming like a maniac one day when I had heard enough "Mom, he won't stop doing this, or that, ect" so the next time I heard "Mom!" I replied oh so sweetly with "WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT" Please tell me I'm not the only one here! Please tell me it will get better. Is there a 'terrible four's' I should look forward to???

Maybe I just need a good clown to entertain him? Maybe not.

Another pink vaccuum!!!

2007-10-26T23:05:00.000-05:00

Go on over to The Domestic Diva and enter to win this cute vaccuum!!! In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness, Dyson has agreed to give away one of their Dyson Vacuum Cleaners in Pink! She is picking a winner on Novemeber 1st so hurry!

Play Dead

2007-10-26T20:12:00.000-05:00

I found this link called I do dog tricks. Try it out...it's the perfect time waster, especially if you have loads of laundry piled up everywhere but can't seem to pry yourself from the computer. You type in a command such as "speak", "jump", "dance", ect. My favorite of course is play dead. If only this would work on my mail route!!!! Oh, and it's not me doing the dog tricks. It's an actual dog.

Disclaimer: I really love animals so you people from PETA, quit calling me!!!!

Thankful Thursday

2007-10-25T18:43:00.000-05:00

This has been a rough week but I'm pretty sure I can come up with some stuff I'm thankful for....let's see....

I'm thankful that it did not rain today. (Ok, maybe I should get my priorities straight)

I'm thankful that God has blessed me with a healthy family.

I'm thankful for my church family, they are becoming more and more special to me everyday!

I'm thankful for my Bible study group, I can have a mini-breakdown and they don't think I'm psycho. (Ya'll don't do you?)

I'm thankful to have a husband who will clean, give the kids a bath, and clean my car out from time to time (I do let him gripe at me when he has to do this, it's only fair when he has to dig out 2 bags of garbage out of it.)

I'm thankful for fall. I just LOVE fall. I love the leaves falling and the wind blowing through my hair (on my legs). Yes, it's also time for pants.

Yesterday I had a driving route and every now and then I would get this feeling that someone was looking at me. Usually its someone sitting on their porch waiting on me to bring their electric bill (yes, people. There are people out there who KNOW when their bills are supposed to delivered.) and I will usually wave. Well yesterday when I thought someone was looking at me I went to throw my hand up and it wasn't anyone eager for their bills. It was a scarecrow. Yep, ya know the decorations people put in there yard complete with hay bales? What's even crazier is that it happened more than once! HA! So here I am driving along, waving at scarecrows. I think I need a day off.

Most of all though, I'm thankful that Jesus came and died for my sins. (He did this for you too!) Without Him I am nothing! Until Sunday's message at church I thought believing was enough, but we must also confess that Jesus is Lord. I don't talk about Him enough in passing conversation and I should be shouting from the mountain tops!!!

Rain, Rain, Go Away.......

2007-10-23T05:54:00.000-05:00

If you stick your head out of the door today and hear wailing...it's not the wind. It's me 25 miles away, walking in the rain. I'm on a walking route today and I've been a storm watcher this morning hoping and praying (Is it wrong to pray to God that I don't get wet today?) that the rain will pass before 10am!!!

A lot of people don't realize that mail carriers walk. My own daughter thinks all I do is ride around in a truck all day (I told her I was tired one evening and that was her response) and let me tell you, it's not easy keeping mail dry while your walking. So all you people with mailboxes on your porch, this is why your coupons are wet. Please don't ask me when you meet me at the door to get said coupons, "Are you staying dry?" This is the most horrible question to hear when rain is dripping off your nose. I might just flip out one day. Nah, I would never do that ;))

I'm sorry for a whiney post. Please just let me whine today....it's raining.

Way too early for tricks!!!!

2007-10-21T14:56:00.000-05:00

My brother is the most horrible person!!! Not really, but he played the most horrible trick on me using this:

I've covered this baby doll with a napkin because apparently our baby dolls don't wear clothes around here and I didn't want to get anyone after me for child pornography.......anyway...

My brother, his wife, and the babies were here this weekend looking for houses because he finally got tranferred to a post office close to home (YAY!!) and they were over Saturday night along with my sister and her family watching the Auburn game. (Was that the longest game ever or what??)

I was in a heated discusstion with my brother-in-law when my brother tapped me on the back and said "Brooke, hold him for a second." As I continued talking I turned with my arms already cradled ready to get my precious nephew. As soon as I did Joey dropped the "baby" and it was falling! I was like Auburn's defense (which wasn't very good Saturday night) trying to catch the most important fumble of the game. For a split second my nephew's future flashed before my eyes....brain damage, wheel-chair bound for life, and the emotional scarring of my own life as I live every day guilt ridden for dropping my nephew. The next split second I realized this baby is naked....neither one of those twins were naked the last time I looked at them!!! By this time the "baby" is now on the floor and everyone, especially my brother is laughing hysterically at me. At this point I don't care who's laughing. I feel like I just had a heart attack, or maybe I need to vomit, no, I'm crossing my legs because I think my bladder has just lost all function. Ashley said I was white as a ghost and once the blood rushed back to my face I ended up laughing too (as I was punching my brother for being so mean)!

So, next time we have people over for a game or any other function I am hiding all baby dolls!!!!!

I've been mamed...I mean memed!!!

2007-10-12T23:22:00.000-05:00

My brain is totally fried from cramming this week for my second big test in child psychology but I'll see how well I can remember this stuff. I believe I have early symptoms of alzheimers...no joke!

1. Four jobs I have had in my life

Niota Country Club When I was 16 I went to live with my Dad and worked here as a bus girl. I didn't drive a bus but cleared tables....just wanted to clear that up....anyway....the Mayfield people (yes as in milk) were members of this country club and I got the oppurtunity to see Scotty Mayfield drunk. You can imagine the fun I had with that one....."Where's your bow tie....what flavor will come out next?" We also took some golf carts out in the middle of the night and jumped hills on the golf course...not me and Scotty...just me and some of the waitresses and the cooks. Fun times.

C and H Drugs and Section Pharmacy

When I was hired at the pharmacy my senior year of high school I realized this is what I wanted to for the rest of my life. I worked for both of these pharmacies while attending college for pre-pharmacy. Just before applying to pharmacy school in Auburn I found out I was pregnant with Madeline. I was devastated but she is now one of the best things God has ever given me!

Various Sock Mills and Plant jobs Nothing glamorous about these jobs. Just working to survive at this point.

U.S. Postal ServiceThis is where I am currently employed. Even though I like to make jokes and whine about this job, I am truly blessed by God to have it! I love to deliver mail on nice sunny beautiful days!!!!

2. Four movies I can watch over and over

1. You've got mail....ok you knew I had to go with this one!!! I love Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!!!!!

2. Sleepless in Seattle...ok another Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie.

3. Titanic....."I'll never let you go....."

4. Ok this is a tie between Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing....I mean, how do you expect me to pick between the two of these???

I have to add that if you have not seen "Return to Me" with David Duchovy and Minnie Driver...rent it now!!! This would be my 5th choice!!!!! HA!

3. Four Shows I Watch on T.V.

Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Heroes, and The Bachelor (yes it's totally pathetic to see 25 women act retarded over a man but I still seem to find some entertainment in it! HA

4. Four Place I have Vacationed

A cruise ship to Mexico, Charleston, SC, Gatlinburg, TN, and Daytona Beach, FL (the worst trip of my life...maybe I'll blog about it one day!)

5. Four of my favorite dishes

Just four? Oh gosh....let's just make it easy and say anything pasta, anything cheesy, anything bready, and anything with sugar in it. And I wonder why I have a weight problem.....

6. Four places I'd Rather Be

1.In my bed 2. Somewhere tropical with Scotty Mayfield...just kidding, well only if he brought some Moose Tracks 3. Somewhere tropical 4. Somewhere tropical

Ok...whew...that was exhuasting...Now I must tag someone...hmmmmm I think I'll tag Melissa over at I'm Thinking.....!!!!! Love ya girl! Have fun!!!!!

Thank you Dave Ramsey!

2007-10-09T21:36:00.000-05:00

You Dave, are next on my list to thank following Christopher Columbus! Now, you didn't accidently discover America BUT you have helped America to receive financial peace!!!! Now I can't yet say that I'm one of those said Americans but I'm at least headed in the right direction!
A group from our church has just finished FPU (Financial Peace University) and I believe we have learned a lot of concepts that will help us achieve financial freedom! I have found though that gaining the knowledge was EASY! It's applying this knowledge to our lifestyle that has been tough! This goes along with my weight issues. I know how to lose the weight it's just having the discipline to do it!

I also want to thank you Dave for the friendships that I have gained from this group! It is so nice to be able to fellowship with Christian friends and encourage one another throughout this class. Our lives can be so busy that sometimes we don't take the time to get to know our fellow churchgoers and this gave us the oppurtunity to learn, laugh, and laugh some more. Our last session was especially moving...spiritually yes, but also in a biological manner. Ahem. My bladder. One of our friends made some lovely coconut cookies to which became one of our biggest laughs of the night. I won't go into any details because even though I didn't mean what I said in how it sounded, it probably won't sound any better repeated here.

12 pack of Coke $3
Financial Peace University Kit $91
Brooke saying the most inappropriate thing without meaning to....priceless.

Did I just use a credit card slogan in my thank you note to Dave Ramsey? HA!

A special thanks also to Dwayne and Holly C. for putting their time and effort to instruct this class. Thank you also to our church for supporting us in this, I really believe this class has and will continue to impact those of us who took part in it!

Happy Christopher Columbus Day!!!!!!

2007-10-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

Oh Chris, how I thank thee for not thinking the world is flat and for embarking on thee long journey to discover America! Had thy not, thine own mailgirl would not have been off today
our country would not be the same!!!!

I don't really have anything to blog about lately....I've been kinda BLAH! I have started yet another diet...it's Monday ya know....*sigh* I know I'm beautiful in the eyes of God but I don't feel it! I wish I had God's mirror and was able to see what He sees. I try to avoid mirrors at all possible but as I'm walking past one I get a glimpse and I'm disgusted! There is a Carmen Electra inside of me DYING to get out!!! ->->->->->->->->->->->

Maybe whoever reads this can hold me accountable to this diet! This is me pleading for help! HELP!!! Food to me is like a drug to an addict. The only problem is that a drug addict doesn't need small portions of a drug to live!!!! I mean, could you imagine a meth addict choosing a smaller, less potent substance just to be able to live knowing he/she COULD easily have the #1 combo with cheese instead of the grilled chicken salad with fat free dressing? LOL Yes, I have totally lost it! LOL LOL LOL

I may be MIA for the next several days. I have a test on Friday (wish me luck!) and after the test I will be making another road trip to see my twin nephews!

Wordless Wednesday

2007-10-03T08:38:00.001-05:00

Ok. Maybe I can't go totally wordless. I need to explain "the look".

9 year old. Riding with brother on Dumbo ride. Not cool.

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP and cough, cough

2007-10-01T22:20:00.000-05:00

I'll get to the "cough, cough" later but first let me hear a "WHOOP,WHOOP!!!" A friend and I went to the Big Spring Jam in Huntsville last night to see Barlowgirl and Toby Mac. They were awesome!!!! I'm seriously thinking of taking up either electic guitar or drum lessons. Hey, I don't think I'm too old to start up a band! Who's with me?

Barlowgirl had a good message to the girls in the crowd. They challenged them to stay pure and to not even DATE!!! What a great idea!!! Madeline is gonna HATE me! HA! I don't know how realistic this would be to do but I know it would cut down on the temptations that young girls face while dating.

Now when Toby Mac was about to come on stage Jennifer and I pushed our way through hundreds of teenagers to get as close as we could. Lisa, aka thepreacherswife told me to get some good pictures so we did what we had to do!! HA! Toby, yeah we're on first name basis now, was SOOO fun to watch! My feet were killing me an hour into it but I DID NOT want to go sit down! Here are some pictures I took! I took pictures until my camera's batteries died! Click on link(top right) to see more!
Well the next morning I felt nothing like the teenager in me that emerged the night before! HA! I have been sneezing for a few days now but brushed it off as allergies. WRONG! I woke up Sunday morning with my mouth open, slightly parched, with snot running down the side of my face. Yes, I know it's lovely but to get the full effect of how I really felt I must go into graphic detail. Isn't that what blogging is all about? HA! As I was grabbing for tissue or heck, my pillowcase, I noticed that man, my neck and back really hurt. I must have really outdone myself with the breakdancing last night! Wrong again. I'm sure of it now as I try to get up. Yes, I'm on the brink of death. I reach out for Jamie to tell him how much I love him and to be sure and take care of the kids when I'm gone.....but nothing but snores....well I guess I'm glad I'm really not dying....HA! I'm such a whine bag!
When we become moms are we supposed to suck it up and go on or can we still lie around on the couch all day drifting in and out of conciousness? Well I, being the loser mom that I am, chose the latter of the two. I even remember asking Jamie in one wave of alert conciousness "Didn't you say you would love me through sickness and health?" I guess I didn't think he was petting me enough. Ya know the commercial...I think It's Campbell Soup....where the guy brings the girl a bowl of steaming hot soup. Yeah, that's what I call love......HA!
He did go and get us Taco Bell for lunch...I love those cheesy beefy melts...I mean I love that man!
So, I guess next time I go see Toby Mac I think I'll take some Vitamin C before I go!!!! (He will be in Chattanooga this Friday night!!!! I thought about taking Madeline, I think she would love it! If I'm well that is!;p )

Love, Brookie, Brooks, Brookish, or Brookster...whichever you like.

I digress???

2007-09-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

What does this mean exactly? I have been lurking several different blogs and see many people using this phrase. I consider myself a fairly average person of intelligence but I have never once during conversation heard someone say "I digress." HA! I guess I'll just have to google ole' mister Webster and just find out! I'm guessing it means......."I give up...or I'm done blah, blahing on this issue..." ???

I digress.

UPDATE: The mystery is over! Mr. Webster says that to digress means "to turn aside especially from the main subject of attention or course of argument" aha! I wasn't too far off....I really did guess...LOL
So basically the Alabama version would be 'Nuf Said! ;p

They don't call them ankle biters for nothin'!!!!!

2007-09-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

I'll first start by apologizing for those who love the animal I'm about to describe. (Sorry Deb)
The proverbial dog vs. mailman (or mailgirl in my case) is absolutely 100% true. I was driving along in my mail truck, sun shining, birds are singing along while I sing a Travis Cottrell praise and worship song, when I realize I have a package for the next house. I get out, still singing, knock on the door and then I hear dogs barking. Not the ferocious sound of a pit bull or a rottweiler. No, this was the lovely sound of an ankle biter. I guess I should have been prepared. Maybe I should have started doing the cha-cha....anything to get my chubby cankles out of the way of the impending ankle bite. Maybe it was the taco I ate for lunch...but I didn't move fast enough and Mrs. I-Can't-Put-my-dogs-up-when-the-mailman-comes-a-knockin opened the door. When I heard the dogs barking I could have made a run for it back to the truck but who wants to work up a sweat running from a dog that is smaller than one cheek of your fanny? Well since I didn't move fast enough *note to self, work on cha-cha* I was bit. I looked at Mrs. I-Can't-put-my-dog-up and said "It bit me." I immediately forgot about the sun, the birds, and Travis Cottrell. I wanted to drop kick that dog to the moon!!!! Now, mind you, I wasn't bleeding. I didn't think I was in danger of foaming at the mouth with rabies but I was MAD!!!! So the woman steps out on her porch talking baby talk to this thing that just bit me saying "c'mon *dog's name*...get in the house right this instant!" She finally gets the dog in the house and says "Do I need to sign for this?" I told her no...still waiting there for an apology. She then walks in the house and shuts the door while I walk back to my truck singing "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?" while practicing my drop kick;)

Wouldn't Jamie look cute using this.........

2007-09-23T13:22:00.001-05:00

5 minutes for mom is giving this super cute vaccuum away! Go check it out here!
Gosh, my legs look super cute in this picture!!! LOL It must be from all the vacuuming I've been doing!

Deeper Still Nashville

2007-09-22T16:12:00.000-05:00

I found this video on the Deeper Still blog....they wanted to add my picture but I told them I didn't want to take away any attention from the other 23,000 women!!! HAHAHA! This was awesome and I hope I get to go to the one in Texas next year!!!

Sleepless in Mobile

2007-09-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

If you have read my posts from this past weekend you know that my brother, Joey and his wife, Ashley had twin boys on Saturday! You know growing up I thought having twins would be SO cute...that is, until I actually had children (one at a time!) My brother called me today, and let me tell you....he sounded SO pitiful!!! Ashley's mother stayed the first couple of days but now they are utterly and completely alone!!!! They are exhausted and I SOOOO wish I could take off down to Mobile to help!!! Joey actually kinda laughed and asked if our church took prayer requests and I said Yes! and my blog girls will pray too!!!! (you will, right?) I know this may seem trivial to you because a lot of us have been there and done that and it's easy to forget sometimes how hard it was, but please say a little prayer for them! I am praying that in this difficult time in their lives, even though they are crying-eating every two hours-miracles, that Joey and Ashley will turn to God. Even though they are alone several miles away from any family, God is still near waiting for them to turn their faces to Heaven!

I am adding a picture of them so you can see their sweet faces!!! Ashley, if you see this, I'm sorry for posting your picture without make-up but you are still beautiful!!!!

Wow! This is so theraputic....LOL
Love ya'll!

Postal Musings

2007-09-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

I occasionally deliver mail to a business that specializes in palm reading and future telling. One day there was a note in the box and here is how it goes:

Dear mailman, (didnt she know I was coming?)
We haven't been getting our mail and was hoping you could tell us
why?
Your psychic friends network, Whitney

So.....I could be totally nice and say "Ma'am your box is a little too low and we need you to raise it a little"

or......*looking at my palm* "well it looks to me like you will have a long, healthy life...oh wait that was a smudge of dirt....oh ok here it is.....your box is too low. Have a great day!!!!"

Now while that would have been fun....I had to resort to writing on her note that her box was too low....but then again she probably knew that was what I was gonna do, yeah right!!!! LOL

Look! I have a new signature thanks to Mandy! She directed me to http://www.mylivesignature.com/ and it was free!!

Poor things..........

2007-09-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

Luke and Landon

These poor boys are being demented early in life with those boggins!!! Just kidding! I actually bought these for them because I know how much my brother loves Auburn!!! There is a little conflict within the family over this....Jamie and I are the only Alababama (ROLL TIDE) fans on my mom's side of the family and I have to keep this low key unless I want to be ferociously attacked!!!! I actually couldn't care less which one I root for but to make my husband happy I pretend to really care!!! HAHAHA!

When my mom, sister, and I found out that Ashley's water broke around 5pm on Saturday we high-tailed it down to Mobile!!! We didn't get there until after midnight and rented us a room in a very nice roach motel...HA! The boys had to stay in the special care unit on Sunday to get extra oxygen but they let us in to meet them. We finally got to hold them around lunch and they are the most beautiful babies in the world (except for my two! HA)

Me and my sister Connie

I have some pictures of my brother and his wife with the boys but she might kill me because she doesn't have any make-up on!!! Believe me, I'm sure I'll post more pics later!!!!

My nephews have arrived!!!!!

2007-09-16T10:32:00.000-05:00

My twin nephews were born last night at 11:50pm!!! Luke Nolan was 5lbs 6oz and Landon Ellis was 6lbs 14oz!!! We are in Mobile and heading back home tonight. I will post pics tomorrow!

I am so thankful that God saw them through a healthy delivery, they are true miracles! My brother was diaganosed with testicular cancer when he was 16 and endured strong chemotherapy. The doctors told him he would most likely be sterile but God had other plans for Joey and his wife, Ashley! Not only did he provide them with one miracle but two!!(With no fertility drugs!!!) Please join with me in praising God and lift up this family in prayer that they will continue to be healthy!!!

DHR is coming to take my children away........

2007-09-13T05:45:00.000-05:00

So you're probably saying to yourself, "Oh Brooke, quit being so dramatic." But wait. Hold on to that thought for a moment....this wasn't your run of the mill, "Oh I forgot to pick up diapers at Wal-mart, or smashed his fingers in the door, or didn't realize he had pooped for a couple of hours and he got a horrible rash kinda thing" which I've never done...but this, oh this, is the most horrible thing I think I have ever done!

I LEFT MY CHILD AT DAYCARE!!!!!!

You are probably thinking to yourself that it's still not a big deal but let me start with how my day progressed. This is absolutely horrible. I mean this brings up horrible memories of my mom leaving my brother at the grocery store when he was 5 and me and my sister giggling all the way home. Well, I don't remember us giggling...but we had to know he wasn't in the car right? Anyway, I just got off track....where was I? Oh, I took Jack to daycare (did I even hug him goodbye?) and went to work. One of my co-workers had a sickness in the family and had to go home, so we had to split one of our routes. This was all fine except that we had a TON of mail!!! My main focus throughout the day was just to get back before the truck left at 5:30 so they could take my outgoing mail.

Well here is where I forgot my precious son.

For a split second I thought that I should get Jamie to go pick him up since I was having to work over but that was the last time I thought of Jack until I pulled into the driveway (25 miles from daycare) opened the garage, got our Kentucky Fried Chicken out (see, I even thought of food before my son, oh and don't tell Dave Ramsey I stopped to get chicken). I drove ALL the way home and didn't even realize he wasn't in his car seat!!! This is the moment I realized I am the most horrible mother ever recorded in the history of time...ok maybe now I'm being a little dramatic, but still. Anyway, I got out and I could see Madeline in the truck through the window of our garage. She yelled "Do you have Jack?" This is where I lost my breath and immediately wanted to slam my hand in the door of my car. I ran in the house to grab the phone (my cell phone died earlier in the day and didn't have a charger..what a day for this to happen!) and called our daycare provider to tell her I was on my way. Jamie in the meantime is TORE up!!! Jamie and Madeline were about to go and get him because the daycare called and told him I hadn't showed up. He was worried I had had a wreck...because being the wonderful mother that I am, I would have NEVER forgot to pick up my son from daycare!

So, the story ends with me returning to town to pick up my poor forgotten son.....I'm beating myself up the whole way there and a song comes on the radio. Carrie Underwood's "Don't forget to remember me"......

Wordless Wednesday

2007-09-12T06:26:00.001-05:00

Blogging for Dummies??

2007-09-11T22:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, if someone haphazardly stumbles upon my un-interesting blog....can you tell me how you learned how to do this? Did you buy a book, call a friend, or is this some innate knowledge everyone but me has been born with? I would love to have some cutesy page that I see everyone else has.....is there a class I can take to learn how to get my named spelled out really pretty in cursive at the bottom and what the heck is html anyway??? LOL

What a weekend!!!!

2007-09-10T05:06:00.000-05:00

A group of my friends and I just returned from the LPN Deeper Still Conference in Nashville and it was AWESOME!!!! God was definitely at work in this place! It was amazing to see 20,000 plus women raising their hands to God and worshipping his Holy name! I was also amazed that in my two days there I didn't see one cat fight! LOL

Oh how I pray that I take God's word that was spoken through these precious women and apply them to my life. It's so easy to get a good weekend of God and turn around and live like the devil on Monday.

I was so happy to be in the company of Lisa (thepreacherswife) but I have decided that I will not let her choose which line to stand in if we ever get to go to another function together. We stood in line for 45 minutes for a slice of pizza and a Mountain Dew!!! She predicted we would be the last in line and I thought "there is NO way".....there was like 500 people behind us. Well.....she was right. We were the LAST ones in line!!!! How this happened it beyond me!!! LOL In all seriousness though, I am so privileged to have a friend like Lisa. I hope I can grow up spiritually and be like her one day. She has a genuine love for Christ and is so knowledgeable about the Bible (I love that she has a thing for Moses!) Lisa is also an incredible writer and speaker and I know that God has amazing plans to work through her to glorify His name!!!!!

Lisa has introduced me to the "Siestas" and I was so happy to get to meet them. This "blog world" seems exciting to me and I hope I can have some imaginary friends too!!!!

Well I'm off to work. I am the male-girl, oops I mean mail-girl!!!!

Love in Christ, Brooke

The mailgirl

Moving to NYC

A time for prayer....and laughs too!

Ider Baptist Women's Retreat 2009

The beauty of Facebook

I'm going to the BIG APPLE!!!!!

Do you love to read?

The new face of Mr. Clean

Days Three, Four, and Five of weight loss journey.....

Dear Ms. Anonymous.........

Day Two..........

Here I go again............

How many times can a dog crap in an 8 hour period, you ask?

I've been so busy running I haven't had time to blog!

Couch to 5K in 3 months.......

Let's play a game!!!!

I'm not emotionallly unstable.......or am I?

Trunk or Treat Nightmare

So I'm tryin' to blog...........

God Stop Friday

Hopelessly Devoted to You

Wordless Wednesday

Siesta Fiesta Recap

Hey Peeps!

San Antonio or bust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monkey see, monkey do.........

Eventually

Summer Sleepovers

Now this is service.......

Siesta Ice Breaker

I Surrender All (There is no Plan B)

Un-Funniest Home Videos

5 Ways to Avoid the Wal-Mart Meltdown*

Some things I learned in Mexico

IM FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leav-ingggg on a jet plane..................

I'm almost regular!!!!!

Dear Mr. City Cop,

Puppy dog tails.....and pee on the seat?????

Angels are Singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I haven't quit.........yet.

Do you miss me???`

I got nothin'

I love free stuff

And the winner is...................

CONTEST!!!!! **Are you a movie buff???**

"Mom, what is sperm???"

Get in Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah Humbug!

1-800-KissMyRear

Do I have any friends?

Are you smarter than a 4th grader?

Coming soon............

"Are you expecting again?"

My new theme song.....

Anyone up for a girl's night???

Have you ever googled your name???

I found another mail girl!!!!

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

Looking for terds in all the wrong places......

Does anyone have the number for poison control?

Where are the clowns???

Another pink vaccuum!!!

Play Dead

Thankful Thursday

Rain, Rain, Go Away.......

Way too early for tricks!!!!

I've been mamed...I mean memed!!!

Thank you Dave Ramsey!

Happy Christopher Columbus Day!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP and *cough, cough*

I digress???

They don't call them ankle biters for nothin'!!!!!

Wouldn't Jamie look cute using this.........

Deeper Still Nashville

Sleepless in Mobile

Postal Musings

Poor things..........

CONTEST!!!!! Are you a movie buff???

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP and cough, cough