This is the question that can send you spiraling into a deep dark depression quicker than anything other than actually being pregnant. Well, unless you want to be.
Someone asked me this today.
I wanted to shoot myself.
I mean, what do you say to this? No, moron. I'm just fat?
Ok. I do wear a uniform shirt that doesn't tuck in. It has pockets in the front and when laying against my fat roll just so, I suppose you could mistake if for a pregnancy. But still. Have you noticed our fat society in America today? The majority of us fatsos that gorge on fast food 4 to 5 days a week have a fat roll or two....it doesn't mean we're pregnant.
Oh, and its not like the rest of my body isn't chubby. Can you not tell my arse is bigger too???? That just maybe I've gained some weight? Uggghhh.
So maybe there are some of you out there that has made this mistake and I'm here to help you. If you see someone who you think is pregnant:
1. Just don't ask. What does it matter if they are?
2. Don't dare pat their fat roll and say "whoa girl, just how far along are you?"
3. If you just can't stand it and have to ask try to ask without actually asking "Are you expecting?" Try this instead: "So, how are feeling? You look wore out!" If they are indeed pregnant you will get the response you are looking for such as: "Oh, just horrible, If this baby doesn't come out soon I'm gonna croak!" If she isn't you might get: "Yeah, come to think of it I am wore out and a little hungry too. Wanna go get some pizza?"
4. Just because she is wearing a shirt that ties in the back, it DOES NOT mean she's expecting. (I refuse to buy these shirts because usually you're just asking for it then.)
I'm sure there are more points to add but I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm gonna go to the Biggest Loser website and see if they are taking applications for next year.
I digress. (or whatever you say to change the subject)
On a more serious note I have an urgent prayer request. A fellow mail carrier that I work with was in a tragic car accident last night and is in very bad shape. It crushed him from his waist down and ruptured his liver and spleen. He also has swelling in the brain and has lost a lot of blood. His name is Jody Hanback. Please lift his name up in prayer and pray that God will bring him through this!