Friday, November 2, 2007

Looking for terds in all the wrong places......

Ok. Maybe this is not something I should post about, but blogging is really about real life, right?

So, if you are a little on the squeamish side scroll on down for a little less that a word?

First of all, is terd spelled with an "e" or a "u"??? It rhymes with nerd so we'll go with the "e". I didn't try spell check but I'm not so sure they have that word in the dictionary.

Anywhooo, I was blogging a few hours ago (and still at, I feel like a loser) and all of sudden Madeline says kinda nonchalantly, "Mom, Jack's pooping over here."

Recently I had decided that he wouldn't wear pull-ups anymore because I was convinced that he was using them as a crutch. He would actually bring me a pull-up to poop in. Needless to say, I was wrong.

I ran over (behind the end table) to see how far into the process he had gotten and didn't see any in the floor so I grabbed him up and ran into the bathroom with him, thinking, "Phew, we made it...we might be actually getting somewhere this time!!!" Then, I hear Madeline say "EWWW MOM, GROSS!!! THERE IS A TERD ON THE END TABLE!!!!"

Well at least the Salmonella from last night's raw chicken lickin' hadn't caused any bloody diarrhea yet. This was an intact terd. I made him (with a wipe in his hand, I'm not sure didn't bother him 2 minutes ago to touch it) pick it up and put it in the potty....after I tanned his hide of course!

I'm at my wit's end ya'll. No kidding, I feel like this kid is gonna wear diapers until he's 16!!!! I can see it now. Ok. No, I can't. I tried to go there and I WILL NOT get a visual.

Well maybe I need to go read some more of my "Screamfree Parenting" book. Hopefully Chapter 4 will have some insight into why I scream my bloody head off when there is poop in places there shouldn't be.


Brooke said...

potty training stinks. but don't give up!!! he'll get it.

and the name jack is sort of like the name luke...

Sue said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Sorry, had to get that out. We just got over all of that, so I feel entitled to laugh, but I do feel your pain.

I'm totally anti-pull-up. They're either ready or they're not. When they're not - give up and wait a month, then try again, with no pull-ups. That's my 15 cents...

Becky said...

ROFL!!! That was hilarious, Brooke! My older son left a 'deposit' on the kitchen floor when he was in training. And a couple in the bathtub on separate occasions. I know, gross...but hey, moms are pretty familiar with this particular bodily function.

I read somewhere that not letting them wear ANY pull-ups or diapers when trying to train them for #2 on the potty works for does rewarding them with M&Ms for every poopie they do on the pot...or blasting their behinds with cold hose water every time they poop anywhere but the toilet. I've never used the latter myself, I've just heard it works. The first two worked for me with my older son.

Funny stuff, Brooke!

Tammy P said...

Brooke, I hope this makes you feel a little better. After my son was potty trained and had been for quite a while, he got mad at me one morning while I was getting ready for work and he pooped right in the middle of his bed. The only thing that saved him was the fact it wasn't my bed. And you could also ask his Aunt Deedra about him pooping in her floor.

Kellan said...

Brooke - this was the funniest story! I can't get the visuals out of my head! When I read, "First of all, is terd spelled with an "e" or a "u"??? It rhymes with nerd so we'll go with the "e". I didn't try spell check but I'm not so sure they have that word in the dictionary." - I could have sworn I was writing this story - this was so me! I loved this story, this post - great job. See ya.

Anonymous said...

As usual, you made me laugh! I love your stories. And the hilarious part is that they are your life. It gets better, I think..

The Preacher's Wife said...

I found a terd, turd, whatever behind the entertainment center once.

Behind the entertainment center.

I still have no idea.

I whipped Sam though. And screamed a lot. There is no book that could have prevented it.



Dimple Queen said...

I thought I was leaving a comment on this one but I left it on the "licking chicken one" Girl you crack me up...I will be back to read more later!!


Mommy Cracked said...

LOL!! My little angel likes to wait until he is in the bathtub to make a doodle. I can't tell you how many times I've had to re-bathe this child on any given night.