Monday, September 24, 2007

They don't call them ankle biters for nothin'!!!!!

I'll first start by apologizing for those who love the animal I'm about to describe. (Sorry Deb)
The proverbial dog vs. mailman (or mailgirl in my case) is absolutely 100% true. I was driving along in my mail truck, sun shining, birds are singing along while I sing a Travis Cottrell praise and worship song, when I realize I have a package for the next house. I get out, still singing, knock on the door and then I hear dogs barking. Not the ferocious sound of a pit bull or a rottweiler. No, this was the lovely sound of an ankle biter. I guess I should have been prepared. Maybe I should have started doing the cha-cha....anything to get my chubby cankles out of the way of the impending ankle bite. Maybe it was the taco I ate for lunch...but I didn't move fast enough and Mrs. I-Can't-Put-my-dogs-up-when-the-mailman-comes-a-knockin opened the door. When I heard the dogs barking I could have made a run for it back to the truck but who wants to work up a sweat running from a dog that is smaller than one cheek of your fanny? Well since I didn't move fast enough *note to self, work on cha-cha* I was bit. I looked at Mrs. I-Can't-put-my-dog-up and said "It bit me." I immediately forgot about the sun, the birds, and Travis Cottrell. I wanted to drop kick that dog to the moon!!!! Now, mind you, I wasn't bleeding. I didn't think I was in danger of foaming at the mouth with rabies but I was MAD!!!! So the woman steps out on her porch talking baby talk to this thing that just bit me saying "c'mon *dog's name*...get in the house right this instant!" She finally gets the dog in the house and says "Do I need to sign for this?" I told her no...still waiting there for an apology. She then walks in the house and shuts the door while I walk back to my truck singing "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?" while practicing my drop kick;)


Anonymous said...

Ok, so I can relate to the baby talk as I was rubbing my babies belly this morning and waving bye-bye to her! But, I would have put her up because I can not stand the constant barking when someone comes up. I do find you a little more important than my dog!

Melissa Lea said...

This is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time! Thanks for making me laugh hysterically today!!

Melissa Lea said...

By the way.....I missed you Tuesday night!!!!! But I just found out where you were. Wish I could have been there too!!!!!!!!

The Preacher's Wife said...

Luke's uncle was a phone company employee - went to a little old ladies house to fix her line and her yappy little dog kept nipping his ankles. He thought he'd scare it by bipping it on top of the head with his screwdriver. When he did, the thing keeled over dead as a doornail!!

And then he did what any Christian would - he slid it way back under the sofa. LOL

With that said, you may want to get yourself a good screwdriver...:)


The Preacher's Wife said...

BTW - I've told you that you should have a weekly post office column...The name? 'Gone Postal' ;)

Also, don't forget to stalk Toby Mac for me this weekend...And if you could take a picture of him and text it to me, that'd be great too...:)


Tammy P said...

I feel your pain. I have been biten, spit on, kicked, pinched, and probably alot more things that I am not thinking of, on the job. The only thing is, it is humans doing it. At least you can drop kick them. I however have to grin and bear it. Put a little extra kick behind it for me.LOL.