Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Un-Funniest Home Videos

Do you ever wish that you could have someone follow you around with a video camera 24/7?
Well I do.
I would so win. (more on this later)

Have you ever watched the show Funniest Home Videos?
I happened upon one the other day (this is not one I Tivo believe it or not) and they had the same old hit-dad-in-the-crotch videos. Jack does this to Jamie on a daily basis. I'm not sure why we haven't invested in -

A) one of those plastic thingys that athletes wear
B) a video camera

This is the one time a 3 year old can cause an adult male to lay in the floor in a fetal position.
However, real life or t.v. video, this stops being funny after so many times.

Anyway, I thought I'd finally tell you my most embarassing moment in my 29 years of life.

Had this been caught on video I am almost certain I would be a millionaire today.
I'm sure there are still people who witnessed this event say "Hey, remember when that mailgirl.....". Yes. I'm still humiliated by the memory.

It was a lovely day about 5 years ago. I locked my mail truck and began my walking loop. (This is where I deliver mail walking. People seemed shocked when I tell them I have to walk so I just wanted to clarify)

Now just imagine the busiest intersection in your town. Ok. Unless all you have is a four way stop...that doesn't count.
Imagine its the busiest intersection in front of say the courthouse. It's also lunch time so it's even busier than usual. My left arm is cradling some mail and in my hand is a bundle of letters. The light is red where I'm trying to cross so I make my move. This move involves the oh-so-difficult step down and then step up, however, my brain and my feet weren't working together this paticular day. So, my brain thinks I've made the step when in fact the feet haven't caught on yet causing the top heavy bent-over walk/fall movement. (this is all in slow motion by the way)

As I was falling forward I thought that I might actually pull out of this one. I had completed a few steps in the bent-over walk/fall and was now directly in the middle of the street. Everything went down hill from there. Literally.

Not being able to break my fall with my left arm I crashed into the road knee/elbow/face first. The mail I was carrying went flying across the road in all directions. This is when time stood still along with all traffic in all directions. No one could go anywhere.

I saw a manhole cover and actually considered throwing myself into the sewer. I picked myself up and started picking mail up as fast as I could. It seemed like 10 minutes before I was able to get out of the road. NO ONE helped me.

I finally got to the other side with my bleeding knee, elbow, and ego.

I'd like to say that that was my last fall but I can't. None, however, has yet to top that one!!!!


The Preacher's Wife said...

I would have helped you.

I would have been laughing the laugh of a crazed maniac, but I would have helped you.



p.s. you need to post on the fiesta blog if you want to go and need a room. there have been several girls offering spots in their rooms. i gave mine up when you and deb dissed me. if you think you really may go then email me and i'll give you my flight info...

Cecelia said...

I hope I can stop laughing long enough to comment. Brooke, I pictured the whole thing in my head and I am sorry it hurt but it would have won you the million !!!
During the slow motion I could hear you saying...nooooooooooooooo, just before you hit the ground ! Oh girl you crack me up !


Becky said...

That was stinkin' hilarious, LOL!

Oh, man...nobody helped you? No gallant young gentleman loping over to offer his assistance? What is wrong with people today?

I'm with the Preacher's Wife...I'd have helped, but I'd be wheeze-laughing and doubled over while doing so.

If it helps any, I once tripped going into a grocery store, and my husband just stood there laughing.

Sue said...

NO ONE helped?????? I would have thought it was like, the law to help a mail carrier.

Weelo said...

poor baby!
so, so very public. horrible!
which healed faster, the knees and elbow or the ego?
I'm betting on the knees!

Deedra said...

I. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

...and it's not like it's a big city where no one knows you!

Cheryl said...

You are to funny! Hope you had a good weekend! Looking forward to seeing you tonight. I love your new look. Good Job!

Kerri Russell said...

Thanks, your blog is pretty funny too. It's always hillarious when guys get kicked in the junk. I think I will take the Jane Austen quiz. (Thanks for the link!)

Anonymous said...

I turned my ankle and fell on next to nothing in a lawn last year. Very embarassing but then when I got to the next house a neighbor was coming out. I meant to say I dumped the mail or that I took a spill but instead I said that there may be a little grass in the mail because I just took a dump next door!

Jim said...

Hi Brooke..I'm Wendy's carrier friend Jim up in Rochester. you have some great blogs..I hate nasty falls like that. I'm a Christian too and keep praying for Wendy..I'm not sure where her relationship with the Lord is but she is a fantastic woman. God bless! I blog on