CONTEST!!!!! **Are you a movie buff???**

My sister and I love movie quotes. If anything remotely close to a movie quote is said we usually will look at each other and say the movie quote. I love it! So, I've dug up some of my favorites and I'm making a contest out of it!!!! My first one!!! The winner will receive a $20 gift card to Starbucks!!!! (Oh, and reading other people's comments before answering is also considered cheating!!! :))

This is open to everyone, so all of you lurkers post your answers for a chance to win!!!!

Here are the rules: No cheating!!!! Only God and you will know of course but as you are slurping down that frappacino you might just choke on it...just kidding! HA! If you get at least 5 right you will be entered into the drawing and I will pick someone at random. The contest will end on New Years Eve at midnight!!!!!

1. Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.
(Way too easy)

2. I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!

3. -Can we get there in your car?
- Who told you I had a car?
-The men in the village.
-They told you I had a car? They are such comedians. They meant my little mule: Pepe.

4. -Tell me what was so special about your wife?
-Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.

5. ....these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
- Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

6. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die

7. Do you like sweet plum or cherry? (I'll be surprised if anyone other than my sis gets this one!)

8. Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

9. I AM NOT A FISH! How many times do I have to tell you people that? So, can you please just let me outta here? Huh? Please? People?

10. Who rang that bell?

11. I'll never let go. I'll never let go, Jack.

12. I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna let me go!

13. Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

14. I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.

15. Hey, you're all right. I didn't do nothing any decent person wouldn't have done. Dumb dog.

16. Toe Pick!!!

Good Luck!!!!! ( I got this great idea from Dawn over at Because I said so...Love it!)

"Mom, what is sperm???"

Me: "Oh, you know, when you go to the salon and get your hair curly." (She didn't just say sperm did she???)

Madeline: "No mom. Not perm. Sperm."

Me: "Oh, um, well.....why???"

Madeline: "My teacher said to ask you."

Me: "What???"

Madeline: "Well she was reading us a book about crabs....."

Me: "WHAT? What do you mean crabs?"

Madeline: "You know, they crawl around on the sand near the ocean!"

Me: "Oh. And...."

Madeline: "Well the teacher said something about the male crab and sperm but she didn't feel comfortable explaining what it was and thought you should."

Me: "Well lucky me."

Madeline: "Well, what is it?"

Ok...so I won't go into what I told her but sheesh, I was definitely not ready to talk "the talk" last night. Where was my warning?

"Mrs, Mom, we read a book about sperm today and you might want to have a good definition ready because she will ask." Thanks Mrs. Teacher

Ok. She is nine. I guess I should've already had the talk with her but I have my reasons. Really, I do. Madeline is a talker. I haven't a clue where she got it from but she is. If she is told ANYTHING you might as well have told the whole fourth grade class. So, I feel like I have done all the other mothers a favor by not telling Madeline the facts of life. Well, and also because I just wasn't ready for her know either!!!!

I think I'm gonna send her teacher a note saying "Hey, thanks for giving me the "birds and the bees" oppurtunity. I was just dying to tell her ALL about it." :))

Get in Bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone other than me fight with their kids to get them to go to sleep?
My son gets out of bed at least 5 times. I was gonna say 50 but I think that's a tad over-exaggerated.
I wish for a June Cleaver moment as I tuck them into bed, kiss them goodnight, and leave them smiling and already dreaming as I tiptoe out the door.......
It's only a wish though.....Jack only goes to sleep after I've threatened to whip him like 50 times. I know. There lies the problem. I threaten. And threaten. I just hate to whip him and then say "Good night sweetie, sweet dreams" ....after I just thrashed him with a belt...ya know?
Why can't they be like us and dream of the moment that our heads finally hit the pillow and never even remember falling into a deep, dark coma. Well, that is, until a 3 year old climbs in the bed and kicks you for a couple hours before you wake up enough to realize some kid is in your bed interrupting your peaceful dream of McDreamy, I mean Jamie....

Anywhoo.....I found this song that fits......listen to it. Seriously. You have time.

Bah Humbug!

Not really. I love Christmas...

but I'd be glad to stuff a hundred dollar bill in that red bucket as long as he would quit ringing that darn bell............maybe I'll ask him the next time I go in Walmart for the fifth time this week!

::

Do you ever wonder why the meteorolgoists tell us the cloud conditions at night? "Tonight, partly cloudy and cold" .....
"No camping tonight kids, it's gonna be cloudy!".

I think it's waaayyy past my bedtime. :))

1-800-KissMyRear

This is my new customer service number.
(Please don't really call this, there is no telling what you might get.)

It's the 3rd of the month and that means I was one popular girl around town today. (Unless their check didn't come, then my name is mud.)

Being the sweet, caring, mailgirl that I am I change my route around on the third so that my sweet little old ladies can get their check and get to the bank before it closes. Now, mind you, I'm not crossing town to do this...I'm crossing the street. Normally I would get the right hand of the street and come back a couple hours later and get the other side. Yes, it may not make sense to you that I don't just deliver the other side while I'm there but trust me, this is just how this route runs.

Anywho...I get back to the post office at dark-thirty and finally breathe a sigh of relief that the day is finally over. (Don't worry I did remember my son today.)
My supervisor came to me and told me that someone called with a complaint.
On me? No way!
She seemed somewhat amused so I wasn't too worried but when she finished I was stunned at the audacity of some people. This person called and did not want to give the supervisor their exact address but gave the street and wanted to make a complaint on "the mailgirl". This guy said that I looked like I didn't know what I was doing.....he knows how I normally deliver the mail and I wasn't doing that. He actually said that he didn't have anything better to do and would watch me.....every day. (Freaky.)

Can you believe that he actually picked up the phone, dialed the post office, and made this crazy complaint??? Sheesh....GET A LIFE, PEOPLE!!!!!

Ok. Now I feel better.

Do I have any friends?

I'm not sure if this saying is just from my era or a regional thing but saying to someone, "Do I have any friends?" and tilting your head slightly upward is a way of asking "Do I have any boogers?" without saying "Do I have any boogers?"

I feel, however, that if you really have friends (not boogers, but actual human friends) that if you were to have a booger or say, a strawberry seed inbetween their two front teeth, they would tell you right? Well I'm not so sure of this.

We had a baby shower for Melissa today at church and I devoured a scrumptious plate of "baby shower" delicacies. (Mrs. Mann, that cake was AWESOME...I don't know why Nancy was cutting the pieces so little) I also had some strawberries with cream cheese dip which I probably should have avoided......

After we all ate we sat and chatted for a while (sorry Melissa, there is only so much blue you can oohh and awwwh over :)) We discussed teeth, denistry, and how important it is to floss (One of them is a dentist's assistant, the other was the preacher's wife ). I tell them all goodbye and when I get to the car and look in the mirror, low and behold, I have a strawberry seed inbetween my two front teeth!!!!

Where are all my friends to tell me I have "friends"??? :P

Are you smarter than a 4th grader?

Obviously, I'm not. *sigh*

My daughter brought home math homework the other day and said she left a paper at school that was supposed to help her with the homework. I told her to get her book out and I would help her. I thought to myself, "How hard could this be?" Surely I can do 4th grade math!
Well when she opened to the page I was hoping she wasn't noticing the wave of nauseousness coming over me.
It was geometry of some sort. Squares and square roots. Measurements. Math problems in the form of paragraphs. I was breaking out into cold sweats, could she tell?

You: "Aren't you going to school to be a teacher??"

Me: *blank stare*

Ok. I took calculus in college for heaven's sake! It was 10 years ago, mind you, but still....shouldn't I know how to do 4th grade math????
I did learn last semester in my "teaching math" class that 4th grade is the year that students start to fear math, so maybe this is why I'm freaking out!?!

Please will someone out there tell me I'm not the only one who can't help their child with their homework??? HA! :))

UPDATE:
I calmed down and actually read the section she was on and was able to help her. I figured out the sheet she left at school was grid paper. We slapped some squares down on paper and got 'er done. (Read that last sentence as country as you can.)

Oh, and don't be scared to have your child in my classroom one day! HA! I think my next class I take will be a refresher math class, do they teach 4th grade math in college????
I assure you that before I try to "teach" math I will know what I'm doing. Hopefully.

Coming soon............

A new post....if I can get up early enough. HA!

Gosh, I feel so loved by ya'll that have missed me!!!! :))

"Are you expecting again?"

This is the question that can send you spiraling into a deep dark depression quicker than anything other than actually being pregnant. Well, unless you want to be.
Yes.
Someone asked me this today.
Yes.
I wanted to shoot myself.
I mean, what do you say to this? No, moron. I'm just fat?
Ok. I do wear a uniform shirt that doesn't tuck in. It has pockets in the front and when laying against my fat roll just so, I suppose you could mistake if for a pregnancy. But still. Have you noticed our fat society in America today? The majority of us fatsos that gorge on fast food 4 to 5 days a week have a fat roll or two....it doesn't mean we're pregnant.
Oh, and its not like the rest of my body isn't chubby. Can you not tell my arse is bigger too???? That just maybe I've gained some weight? Uggghhh.

So maybe there are some of you out there that has made this mistake and I'm here to help you. If you see someone who you think is pregnant:

1. Just don't ask. What does it matter if they are?

2. Don't dare pat their fat roll and say "whoa girl, just how far along are you?"

3. If you just can't stand it and have to ask try to ask without actually asking "Are you expecting?" Try this instead: "So, how are feeling? You look wore out!" If they are indeed pregnant you will get the response you are looking for such as: "Oh, just horrible, If this baby doesn't come out soon I'm gonna croak!" If she isn't you might get: "Yeah, come to think of it I am wore out and a little hungry too. Wanna go get some pizza?"

4. Just because she is wearing a shirt that ties in the back, it DOES NOT mean she's expecting. (I refuse to buy these shirts because usually you're just asking for it then.)

I'm sure there are more points to add but I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm gonna go to the Biggest Loser website and see if they are taking applications for next year.

I digress. (or whatever you say to change the subject)

On a more serious note I have an urgent prayer request. A fellow mail carrier that I work with was in a tragic car accident last night and is in very bad shape. It crushed him from his waist down and ruptured his liver and spleen. He also has swelling in the brain and has lost a lot of blood. His name is Jody Hanback. Please lift his name up in prayer and pray that God will bring him through this!

My new theme song.....

Dawnover at Because I said so posted a video of Tim Hawkins, a Christian comedian who is HILARIOUS!!!! I went over to youtube to find more videos and I found my new theme song. In this video Tim is talking about corporations taking over church songs......



IF you know about my Krispy Kreme craze you will understand why this is my new theme song!!!! Go to youtube.com and listen to more of Tim Hawkins on marriage, parenting, and other funny stuff!!!

Oh and where are my girls??? This is not looking good for girls night.....Am I gonna have to fly girls in from California because my local girls won't come? Deb, I still expect you to come even if are having a wisdom tooth cut out at 3pm that day. Your hands can still draw for Pictionary right???

Anyone up for a girl's night???

I know this is a little last minute but I'm hosting a MaryKay/ Girls night at my house on Friday Nov. 16th at 6pm. Holly will be set up here but I also wanted to just have everyone over and have some fun.

Some girls at church mentioned that they had seen the movie "License to Wed" and said it was hilarious, so I thought about renting that and we all can just hang out, maybe play some board games too! ( I am a Pictionary champ, just ask my friend Jennifer!)

Anyone up for it??

(I'll have Krispy Kreme donuts!!!!!)

Ya'll let me know!!!!

Have you ever googled your name???

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and found out that she had googled her name and found someone with the same name who had written a book. Somehow through the blog world they starting communicating and my friend found her to be this facsinating person who travels around the world.
So, I got to thinking. I wonder how many Brooke _____'s there are out there. Would it be someone facsinating???

Here is what I came up with:

• The new character on Grey's Anatomy who has taken Dr. Burke's place as head of thoracic surgery. Her real life name is Brooke _____. Interesting, but I bet we will never be in touch.
  

• Next, I found a Brooke S____ who is some sort of anchor person at a news station in Birmingham, AL. She was also runner-up in "The Bachelor" about 5 years ago.

• Lastly and most hilarious (to me at least) is Brooke S____ a former spokesperson for..........
  
  KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS!!!!!
  
  I found an article where she had been interviewed and I am not making this up, this was really in the article!!!!
  
  

"Doughnuts are a normal part of a healthy, balanced diet," said Brooke _____, a spokeswoman for Krispy Kreme. "We are a taste treat."

Does anyone wanna ride to Chattanooga with me to see if the "hot now" sign is flashing???

I'm definitely emailing this person if I can, I think we will be great friends. I also have no doubt she will be fascinating!!! HAHA!

I found another mail girl!!!!

A friend of mine who reads my blog (but doesn't leave comments...don't you know this kills my self-esteem?) sent me a text message to let me know there was another mail girl who was funny.
Ok, does this mean she's funnier than me?
So, of course I must go check her out to see.
Yep, she's funny and now my new BFF, only she doesn't know it yet. It seems though that I have stolen her name.....

Well instead of up cleaning the house on my non-scheduled day I'm reading EVERY one of her posts, laughing my guts out.

Go check out this post. I've been wanting to write a post about this but she nailed it so need for me to do it....just read hers.
What not to say to your mail carrier

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

My new blog friend Becky over at Stuck in a Frump has tagged me and now I must list 7 random things about me.

I've been wanting to do the one that I have been seeing on other blogs where they list 100 things about themselves but I thought to myself that 50 of them would probably be pet peeves so maybe I shouldn't do one!

I like to keep things positive as not to upset my peaceful internal balance. I'm laughing hysterically now.

Anywhoo, let's get started.

1. I am the Queen of Klutz

If you took the average amount of steps I take on a daily basis and compare it to the average human being (yes aliens are excluded here) you will note that I am on my feet and my fall/step ratio may be justified a tad more than the average person. Looking at my graphs, I would say that I fall an average of 12.8 times a year. That .8 times is the time I almost fall, catch myself, but is still qualified as an embarrassment. (Unless no one witnessed such fall, then if not it is then thrown out.) One of these falls is my "most embarrasing story" moment. Had this fall been captured on tape, I would be a millionaire. No joke. There are probably still people that see me in Wal-mart when I'm wearing my uniform and say, "Look, there's that mail carrier that fell in the road that day!" Maybe I'll tell this one day.


2. I am the Queen of Procrastination

I have 6 assignments due by midnight tonight for my health class, but I'm blogging. I keep telling myself I work better under pressure. I really do. My family suffers though. Have you seen the commercials for the anti-deppresant drug and the ad says "Who does depression hurt?" Well my slogan should say, "Who does procrastination hurt?" Yes. Everyone.

3. I long to be an organized person

I believe if HGTV came to my house and helped me organize it, it would be back to the way it is now within 48 hours. Seriously. What is wrong with me?


4.I'm not a morning person

Well, let's back up. I'm not a nice person when I wake up no matter what time of day, so this includes nice Sunday afternoon naps as well. I don't like this about myself at all. I wish I could wake up every morning like every day was a field trip or like Cinderella when the birds wake her up and she instantly starts singing and making her bed....

It doesn't help that when I stumble into the kitchen to make coffee my husband is laughing at me. I love him, I really do. Just not at 4:30am. Apparently he thinks I'm hilarious right when I wake up. Maybe it's the scowl on my face, the dried slobber on the side of my cheek, or the rat's nest I have for hair?

Wow. This has turned into 7 ways I could bash myself. I am so depressed now.

5. I have never met a donut I didn't like

Not much I can add to that one.

6. I have struggled with my weight most of my life

Don't even try to suggest that 5 and 6 have any correlation whatsoever. I'm attempting to get Madeline to grow up to be a scientist so she can discover why some people have the fat gene and some don't. It's funny to me that my brother and sister have never had much of a weight problem. Interesting. Now where did I put those donuts?

7. My life consists of theme songs

The day of the postman is a lonely one. Walking or driving along there is nothing to do but think. (Unless you have a bluetooth and someone who will talk to you on the phone all day, I don't.)

There is also no radio.

Except the one in my head.

One example of this is when there is something obstructing my way, construction, ect. and I must get by. I, in my ingenious thinking, get around it and when I do a chorus begins in my head: (turn your volume up and press the play button twice)



"Nothin' gets to you stayin' fresh, stayin' cool...."

I am tagging Deb, Lisa, Cheryl, and Melissa. I don't care if you have already done this!!!! I want 7 NEW random things!!!! MUAAHHHHHAAAAAAAA

7 Random Things About ME!!!!

Coming later today........

Looking for terds in all the wrong places......

Ok. Maybe this is not something I should post about, but blogging is really about real life, right?

So, if you are a little on the squeamish side scroll on down for a little less graphicness....is that a word?

First of all, is terd spelled with an "e" or a "u"??? It rhymes with nerd so we'll go with the "e". I didn't try spell check but I'm not so sure they have that word in the dictionary.

Anywhooo, I was blogging a few hours ago (and still at it...wow, I feel like a loser) and all of sudden Madeline says kinda nonchalantly, "Mom, Jack's pooping over here."

Recently I had decided that he wouldn't wear pull-ups anymore because I was convinced that he was using them as a crutch. He would actually bring me a pull-up to poop in. Needless to say, I was wrong.

I ran over (behind the end table) to see how far into the process he had gotten and didn't see any in the floor so I grabbed him up and ran into the bathroom with him, thinking, "Phew, we made it...we might be actually getting somewhere this time!!!" Then, I hear Madeline say "EWWW MOM, GROSS!!! THERE IS A TERD ON THE END TABLE!!!!"

Well at least the Salmonella from last night's raw chicken lickin' hadn't caused any bloody diarrhea yet. This was an intact terd. I made him (with a wipe in his hand, I'm not sure why...it didn't bother him 2 minutes ago to touch it) pick it up and put it in the potty....after I tanned his hide of course!

I'm at my wit's end ya'll. No kidding, I feel like this kid is gonna wear diapers until he's 16!!!! I can see it now. Ok. No, I can't. I tried to go there and I WILL NOT get a visual.

Well maybe I need to go read some more of my "Screamfree Parenting" book. Hopefully Chapter 4 will have some insight into why I scream my bloody head off when there is poop in places there shouldn't be.

Does anyone have the number for poison control?

Ok. Obviously I'm not really panicking because instead of waiting on comments from my blog friends I would be googling this matter...maybe I should. Hold on.

Ok. I'm back. I think we're gonna be ok. The worst that could come of this is headache, fever, and some bloody diarrhea.

I came home from work today feeling a little domestic. Notice I said "a little". I broke out the Campbell's Cream of Chicken Soup and found a recipe on the inside of the label and had some chicken that needed to be used before it became another smelly thing in my fridge. Now, I'm totally weird when it comes to chicken. I despise handling it and have an immense fear of Salmonella poisoning. Raw chicken is just gross and I'm spending half the time in the kitchen washing my hands before I touch anything after I've touched the slimy gross chicken.

So, I start with pounding the chicken with a can of cream of chicken soup. No, the recipe doesn't call for this but I saw it on some cooking show I usually just watch for entertainment...not practical use. I did, however, remember that to make the chicken thinner you can pound it with something. Anyway, you can thank me later for the tip, as I was doing this Jack came in and decided he would stick his fingers in the raw chicken pack. Before I can throw down the can and grab him, he sticks his fingers in his mouth.

Did I tell you I received my book "Screamfree Parenting" in the mail yesterday? I'm on the third chapter but It hasn't given me any information on what to do if your child licks raw chicken. So, I'm not sure what I yelled ...maybe something about bacteria....what did you think it was a cupcake??....something like that as I'm running him to the bathroom, feeling the vomit rise to my throat. I thoroughly wash his hands 4 times and when I turn the water off he looks up at me and says, "I love you, mama". I can't help but smile as I put my hands around his neck to choke him hug him close and tell him I love him too.

Well supper is over and I still can't stomach the lovely chicken I baked for my precious family. Maybe later I'll eat some Frosted Flakes. :))

Where are the clowns???

First of all, thank you Wendy for this material!!!

This past Saturday night a group from my church attended the Casting Crowns concert. It was awesome!!! Before the concert we ate at Ryans which was also awesome. There's nothin' like a basket full of buttery rolls just waiting to be devoured. Sorry to the girls who sat with me, I'm not sure if you even got one or not! HA!

Yes Melissa, I'm off my diet.

Anyway, as we were all walking into the civic center I overheard one couple in particular, I won't mention any names, (Robbie and Wendy) to save you from embarrassment. Well really Wendy I guess. Apparently neither one are Casting Crowns fans but were up for a date night regardless who was singing. Anyway, I heard Robbie saying "Where are the clowns??" followed by some laughing...This sparked my attention because A) I love to be in the middle of a good laugh, especially one that either makes you cry or your stomach hurt (unless you have just eaten a bazillion rolls at Ryans) and B) because I'm not entirely a fan of clowns. I thought to myself that if there were going to be clowns here I'm gettin' out of here! Not that I'm really scared of them...but just because I think they're dumb. Ok, yeah I'm scared of 'em.

So, come to find out, Wendy has thought the entire time that we were going to see "Casting Clowns"!!!! How hilarious is that??? She finally realizes when she gets their tickets before we left on Saturday when she read it and said "Oh, it's Casting Crowns, not clowns!" So, thanks Wendy for the laugh!!!

On a completely different note, I have a question to ask. Why do you not hear anything about the 'terrible three's'??? Now, I have a nine year old daughter who was, believe or not, three at one time. However, she cannot be compared to the average child because God sent me an angel because, I think, He knew I was going through enough already at the time!

Anyway, now I have Jack.

I love Jack, but Jack is three.

I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND.

I have ordered a book for, ahem, a friend. Yes, this friend is in desparate need of this book. "Screamfree parenting".

Yeah, you got me. It's really for me.

I caught myself screaming like a maniac one day when I had heard enough "Mom, he won't stop doing this, or that, ect" so the next time I heard "Mom!" I replied oh so sweetly with "WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT" Please tell me I'm not the only one here! Please tell me it will get better. Is there a 'terrible four's' I should look forward to???

Maybe I just need a good clown to entertain him? Maybe not.

Another pink vaccuum!!!

Go on over to The Domestic Diva and enter to win this cute vaccuum!!! In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness, Dyson has agreed to give away one of their Dyson Vacuum Cleaners in Pink! She is picking a winner on Novemeber 1st so hurry!

Play Dead

I found this link called I do dog tricks. Try it out...it's the perfect time waster, especially if you have loads of laundry piled up everywhere but can't seem to pry yourself from the computer. You type in a command such as "speak", "jump", "dance", ect. My favorite of course is play dead. If only this would work on my mail route!!!! Oh, and it's not me doing the dog tricks. It's an actual dog.

Disclaimer: I really love animals so you people from PETA, quit calling me!!!!

Thankful Thursday

This has been a rough week but I'm pretty sure I can come up with some stuff I'm thankful for....let's see....

I'm thankful that it did not rain today. (Ok, maybe I should get my priorities straight)

I'm thankful that God has blessed me with a healthy family.

I'm thankful for my church family, they are becoming more and more special to me everyday!

I'm thankful for my Bible study group, I can have a mini-breakdown and they don't think I'm psycho. (Ya'll don't do you?)

I'm thankful to have a husband who will clean, give the kids a bath, and clean my car out from time to time (I do let him gripe at me when he has to do this, it's only fair when he has to dig out 2 bags of garbage out of it.)

I'm thankful for fall. I just LOVE fall. I love the leaves falling and the wind blowing through my hair (on my legs). Yes, it's also time for pants.

Yesterday I had a driving route and every now and then I would get this feeling that someone was looking at me. Usually its someone sitting on their porch waiting on me to bring their electric bill (yes, people. There are people out there who KNOW when their bills are supposed to delivered.) and I will usually wave. Well yesterday when I thought someone was looking at me I went to throw my hand up and it wasn't anyone eager for their bills. It was a scarecrow. Yep, ya know the decorations people put in there yard complete with hay bales? What's even crazier is that it happened more than once! HA! So here I am driving along, waving at scarecrows. I think I need a day off.

Most of all though, I'm thankful that Jesus came and died for my sins. (He did this for you too!) Without Him I am nothing! Until Sunday's message at church I thought believing was enough, but we must also confess that Jesus is Lord. I don't talk about Him enough in passing conversation and I should be shouting from the mountain tops!!!

Rain, Rain, Go Away.......

If you stick your head out of the door today and hear wailing...it's not the wind. It's me 25 miles away, walking in the rain. I'm on a walking route today and I've been a storm watcher this morning hoping and praying (Is it wrong to pray to God that I don't get wet today?) that the rain will pass before 10am!!!

A lot of people don't realize that mail carriers walk. My own daughter thinks all I do is ride around in a truck all day (I told her I was tired one evening and that was her response) and let me tell you, it's not easy keeping mail dry while your walking. So all you people with mailboxes on your porch, this is why your coupons are wet. Please don't ask me when you meet me at the door to get said coupons, "Are you staying dry?" This is the most horrible question to hear when rain is dripping off your nose. I might just flip out one day. Nah, I would never do that ;))

I'm sorry for a whiney post. Please just let me whine today....it's raining.

Way too early for tricks!!!!

My brother is the most horrible person!!! Not really, but he played the most horrible trick on me using this:

I've covered this baby doll with a napkin because apparently our baby dolls don't wear clothes around here and I didn't want to get anyone after me for child pornography.......anyway...

My brother, his wife, and the babies were here this weekend looking for houses because he finally got tranferred to a post office close to home (YAY!!) and they were over Saturday night along with my sister and her family watching the Auburn game. (Was that the longest game ever or what??)

I was in a heated discusstion with my brother-in-law when my brother tapped me on the back and said "Brooke, hold him for a second." As I continued talking I turned with my arms already cradled ready to get my precious nephew. As soon as I did Joey dropped the "baby" and it was falling! I was like Auburn's defense (which wasn't very good Saturday night) trying to catch the most important fumble of the game. For a split second my nephew's future flashed before my eyes....brain damage, wheel-chair bound for life, and the emotional scarring of my own life as I live every day guilt ridden for dropping my nephew. The next split second I realized this baby is naked....neither one of those twins were naked the last time I looked at them!!! By this time the "baby" is now on the floor and everyone, especially my brother is laughing hysterically at me. At this point I don't care who's laughing. I feel like I just had a heart attack, or maybe I need to vomit, no, I'm crossing my legs because I think my bladder has just lost all function. Ashley said I was white as a ghost and once the blood rushed back to my face I ended up laughing too (as I was punching my brother for being so mean)!

So, next time we have people over for a game or any other function I am hiding all baby dolls!!!!!

I've been mamed...I mean memed!!!

My brain is totally fried from cramming this week for my second big test in child psychology but I'll see how well I can remember this stuff. I believe I have early symptoms of alzheimers...no joke!

1. Four jobs I have had in my life

Niota Country Club When I was 16 I went to live with my Dad and worked here as a bus girl. I didn't drive a bus but cleared tables....just wanted to clear that up....anyway....the Mayfield people (yes as in milk) were members of this country club and I got the oppurtunity to see Scotty Mayfield drunk. You can imagine the fun I had with that one....."Where's your bow tie....what flavor will come out next?" We also took some golf carts out in the middle of the night and jumped hills on the golf course...not me and Scotty...just me and some of the waitresses and the cooks. Fun times.

C and H Drugs and Section Pharmacy

When I was hired at the pharmacy my senior year of high school I realized this is what I wanted to for the rest of my life. I worked for both of these pharmacies while attending college for pre-pharmacy. Just before applying to pharmacy school in Auburn I found out I was pregnant with Madeline. I was devastated but she is now one of the best things God has ever given me!

Various Sock Mills and Plant jobs Nothing glamorous about these jobs. Just working to survive at this point.

U.S. Postal ServiceThis is where I am currently employed. Even though I like to make jokes and whine about this job, I am truly blessed by God to have it! I love to deliver mail on nice sunny beautiful days!!!!

2. Four movies I can watch over and over

1. You've got mail....ok you knew I had to go with this one!!! I love Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!!!!!

2. Sleepless in Seattle...ok another Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movie.

3. Titanic....."I'll never let you go....."

4. Ok this is a tie between Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing....I mean, how do you expect me to pick between the two of these???

I have to add that if you have not seen "Return to Me" with David Duchovy and Minnie Driver...rent it now!!! This would be my 5th choice!!!!! HA!

3. Four Shows I Watch on T.V.

Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Heroes, and The Bachelor (yes it's totally pathetic to see 25 women act retarded over a man but I still seem to find some entertainment in it! HA

4. Four Place I have Vacationed

A cruise ship to Mexico, Charleston, SC, Gatlinburg, TN, and Daytona Beach, FL (the worst trip of my life...maybe I'll blog about it one day!)

5. Four of my favorite dishes

Just four? Oh gosh....let's just make it easy and say anything pasta, anything cheesy, anything bready, and anything with sugar in it. And I wonder why I have a weight problem.....

6. Four places I'd Rather Be

1.In my bed 2. Somewhere tropical with Scotty Mayfield...just kidding, well only if he brought some Moose Tracks 3. Somewhere tropical 4. Somewhere tropical

Ok...whew...that was exhuasting...Now I must tag someone...hmmmmm I think I'll tag Melissa over at I'm Thinking.....!!!!! Love ya girl! Have fun!!!!!

Thank you Dave Ramsey!

You Dave, are next on my list to thank following Christopher Columbus! Now, you didn't accidently discover America BUT you have helped America to receive financial peace!!!! Now I can't yet say that I'm one of those said Americans but I'm at least headed in the right direction!
A group from our church has just finished FPU (Financial Peace University) and I believe we have learned a lot of concepts that will help us achieve financial freedom! I have found though that gaining the knowledge was EASY! It's applying this knowledge to our lifestyle that has been tough! This goes along with my weight issues. I know how to lose the weight it's just having the discipline to do it!

I also want to thank you Dave for the friendships that I have gained from this group! It is so nice to be able to fellowship with Christian friends and encourage one another throughout this class. Our lives can be so busy that sometimes we don't take the time to get to know our fellow churchgoers and this gave us the oppurtunity to learn, laugh, and laugh some more. Our last session was especially moving...spiritually yes, but also in a biological manner. Ahem. My bladder. One of our friends made some lovely coconut cookies to which became one of our biggest laughs of the night. I won't go into any details because even though I didn't mean what I said in how it sounded, it probably won't sound any better repeated here.

12 pack of Coke $3

Financial Peace University Kit $91

Brooke saying the most inappropriate thing without meaning to....priceless.

Did I just use a credit card slogan in my thank you note to Dave Ramsey? HA!

A special thanks also to Dwayne and Holly C. for putting their time and effort to instruct this class. Thank you also to our church for supporting us in this, I really believe this class has and will continue to impact those of us who took part in it!

Happy Christopher Columbus Day!!!!!!

Oh Chris, how I thank thee for not thinking the world is flat and for embarking on thee long journey to discover America! Had thy not, thine own mailgirl would not have been off today
our country would not be the same!!!!

I don't really have anything to blog about lately....I've been kinda BLAH! I have started yet another diet...it's Monday ya know....*sigh* I know I'm beautiful in the eyes of God but I don't feel it! I wish I had God's mirror and was able to see what He sees. I try to avoid mirrors at all possible but as I'm walking past one I get a glimpse and I'm disgusted! There is a Carmen Electra inside of me DYING to get out!!! ->->->->->->->->->->->

Maybe whoever reads this can hold me accountable to this diet! This is me pleading for help! HELP!!! Food to me is like a drug to an addict. The only problem is that a drug addict doesn't need small portions of a drug to live!!!! I mean, could you imagine a meth addict choosing a smaller, less potent substance just to be able to live knowing he/she COULD easily have the #1 combo with cheese instead of the grilled chicken salad with fat free dressing? LOL Yes, I have totally lost it! LOL LOL LOL

I may be MIA for the next several days. I have a test on Friday (wish me luck!) and after the test I will be making another road trip to see my twin nephews!

Wordless Wednesday

Ok. Maybe I can't go totally wordless. I need to explain "the look".

9 year old. Riding with brother on Dumbo ride. Not cool.

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP and *cough, cough*

I'll get to the "cough, cough" later but first let me hear a "WHOOP,WHOOP!!!" A friend and I went to the Big Spring Jam in Huntsville last night to see Barlowgirl and Toby Mac. They were awesome!!!! I'm seriously thinking of taking up either electic guitar or drum lessons. Hey, I don't think I'm too old to start up a band! Who's with me?

Barlowgirl had a good message to the girls in the crowd. They challenged them to stay pure and to not even DATE!!! What a great idea!!! Madeline is gonna HATE me! HA! I don't know how realistic this would be to do but I know it would cut down on the temptations that young girls face while dating.

Now when Toby Mac was about to come on stage Jennifer and I pushed our way through hundreds of teenagers to get as close as we could. Lisa, aka thepreacherswife told me to get some good pictures so we did what we had to do!! HA! Toby, yeah we're on first name basis now, was SOOO fun to watch! My feet were killing me an hour into it but I DID NOT want to go sit down! Here are some pictures I took! I took pictures until my camera's batteries died! Click on link(top right) to see more!
Well the next morning I felt nothing like the teenager in me that emerged the night before! HA! I have been sneezing for a few days now but brushed it off as allergies. WRONG! I woke up Sunday morning with my mouth open, slightly parched, with snot running down the side of my face. Yes, I know it's lovely but to get the full effect of how I really felt I must go into graphic detail. Isn't that what blogging is all about? HA! As I was grabbing for tissue or heck, my pillowcase, I noticed that man, my neck and back really hurt. I must have really outdone myself with the breakdancing last night! Wrong again. I'm sure of it now as I try to get up. Yes, I'm on the brink of death. I reach out for Jamie to tell him how much I love him and to be sure and take care of the kids when I'm gone.....but nothing but snores....well I guess I'm glad I'm really not dying....HA! I'm such a whine bag!
When we become moms are we supposed to suck it up and go on or can we still lie around on the couch all day drifting in and out of conciousness? Well I, being the loser mom that I am, chose the latter of the two. I even remember asking Jamie in one wave of alert conciousness "Didn't you say you would love me through sickness and health?" I guess I didn't think he was petting me enough. Ya know the commercial...I think It's Campbell Soup....where the guy brings the girl a bowl of steaming hot soup. Yeah, that's what I call love......HA!
He did go and get us Taco Bell for lunch...I love those cheesy beefy melts...I mean I love that man!
So, I guess next time I go see Toby Mac I think I'll take some Vitamin C before I go!!!! (He will be in Chattanooga this Friday night!!!! I thought about taking Madeline, I think she would love it! If I'm well that is!;p )

Love, Brookie, Brooks, Brookish, or Brookster...whichever you like.

I digress???

What does this mean exactly? I have been lurking several different blogs and see many people using this phrase. I consider myself a fairly average person of intelligence but I have never once during conversation heard someone say "I digress." HA! I guess I'll just have to google ole' mister Webster and just find out! I'm guessing it means......."I give up...or I'm done blah, blahing on this issue..." ???

I digress.

UPDATE: The mystery is over! Mr. Webster says that to digress means "to turn aside especially from the main subject of attention or course of argument" aha! I wasn't too far off....I really did guess...LOL
So basically the Alabama version would be 'Nuf Said! ;p

They don't call them ankle biters for nothin'!!!!!

I'll first start by apologizing for those who love the animal I'm about to describe. (Sorry Deb)
The proverbial dog vs. mailman (or mailgirl in my case) is absolutely 100% true. I was driving along in my mail truck, sun shining, birds are singing along while I sing a Travis Cottrell praise and worship song, when I realize I have a package for the next house. I get out, still singing, knock on the door and then I hear dogs barking. Not the ferocious sound of a pit bull or a rottweiler. No, this was the lovely sound of an ankle biter. I guess I should have been prepared. Maybe I should have started doing the cha-cha....anything to get my chubby cankles out of the way of the impending ankle bite. Maybe it was the taco I ate for lunch...but I didn't move fast enough and Mrs. I-Can't-Put-my-dogs-up-when-the-mailman-comes-a-knockin opened the door. When I heard the dogs barking I could have made a run for it back to the truck but who wants to work up a sweat running from a dog that is smaller than one cheek of your fanny? Well since I didn't move fast enough *note to self, work on cha-cha* I was bit. I looked at Mrs. I-Can't-put-my-dog-up and said "It bit me." I immediately forgot about the sun, the birds, and Travis Cottrell. I wanted to drop kick that dog to the moon!!!! Now, mind you, I wasn't bleeding. I didn't think I was in danger of foaming at the mouth with rabies but I was MAD!!!! So the woman steps out on her porch talking baby talk to this thing that just bit me saying "c'mon *dog's name*...get in the house right this instant!" She finally gets the dog in the house and says "Do I need to sign for this?" I told her no...still waiting there for an apology. She then walks in the house and shuts the door while I walk back to my truck singing "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?" while practicing my drop kick;)

Wouldn't Jamie look cute using this.........

5 minutes for mom is giving this super cute vaccuum away! Go check it out here!
Gosh, my legs look super cute in this picture!!! LOL It must be from all the vacuuming I've been doing!

Deeper Still Nashville

I found this video on the Deeper Still blog....they wanted to add my picture but I told them I didn't want to take away any attention from the other 23,000 women!!! HAHAHA! This was awesome and I hope I get to go to the one in Texas next year!!!

Sleepless in Mobile

If you have read my posts from this past weekend you know that my brother, Joey and his wife, Ashley had twin boys on Saturday! You know growing up I thought having twins would be SO cute...that is, until I actually had children (one at a time!) My brother called me today, and let me tell you....he sounded SO pitiful!!! Ashley's mother stayed the first couple of days but now they are utterly and completely alone!!!! They are exhausted and I SOOOO wish I could take off down to Mobile to help!!! Joey actually kinda laughed and asked if our church took prayer requests and I said Yes! and my blog girls will pray too!!!! (you will, right?) I know this may seem trivial to you because a lot of us have been there and done that and it's easy to forget sometimes how hard it was, but please say a little prayer for them! I am praying that in this difficult time in their lives, even though they are crying-eating every two hours-miracles, that Joey and Ashley will turn to God. Even though they are alone several miles away from any family, God is still near waiting for them to turn their faces to Heaven!

I am adding a picture of them so you can see their sweet faces!!! Ashley, if you see this, I'm sorry for posting your picture without make-up but you are still beautiful!!!!

Wow! This is so theraputic....LOL
Love ya'll!

Postal Musings

I occasionally deliver mail to a business that specializes in palm reading and future telling. One day there was a note in the box and here is how it goes:

Dear mailman, (didnt she know I was coming?)

We haven't been getting our mail and was hoping you could tell us
why?

Your psychic friends network, Whitney

So.....I could be totally nice and say "Ma'am your box is a little too low and we need you to raise it a little"

or......*looking at my palm* "well it looks to me like you will have a long, healthy life...oh wait that was a smudge of dirt....oh ok here it is.....your box is too low. Have a great day!!!!"

Now while that would have been fun....I had to resort to writing on her note that her box was too low....but then again she probably knew that was what I was gonna do, yeah right!!!! LOL

Look! I have a new signature thanks to Mandy! She directed me to http://www.mylivesignature.com/ and it was free!!

Poor things..........

Luke and Landon

These poor boys are being demented early in life with those boggins!!! Just kidding! I actually bought these for them because I know how much my brother loves Auburn!!! There is a little conflict within the family over this....Jamie and I are the only Alababama (ROLL TIDE) fans on my mom's side of the family and I have to keep this low key unless I want to be ferociously attacked!!!! I actually couldn't care less which one I root for but to make my husband happy I pretend to really care!!! HAHAHA!

When my mom, sister, and I found out that Ashley's water broke around 5pm on Saturday we high-tailed it down to Mobile!!! We didn't get there until after midnight and rented us a room in a very nice roach motel...HA! The boys had to stay in the special care unit on Sunday to get extra oxygen but they let us in to meet them. We finally got to hold them around lunch and they are the most beautiful babies in the world (except for my two! HA)

Me and my sister Connie

I have some pictures of my brother and his wife with the boys but she might kill me because she doesn't have any make-up on!!! Believe me, I'm sure I'll post more pics later!!!!

My nephews have arrived!!!!!

My twin nephews were born last night at 11:50pm!!! Luke Nolan was 5lbs 6oz and Landon Ellis was 6lbs 14oz!!! We are in Mobile and heading back home tonight. I will post pics tomorrow!

I am so thankful that God saw them through a healthy delivery, they are true miracles! My brother was diaganosed with testicular cancer when he was 16 and endured strong chemotherapy. The doctors told him he would most likely be sterile but God had other plans for Joey and his wife, Ashley! Not only did he provide them with one miracle but two!!(With no fertility drugs!!!) Please join with me in praising God and lift up this family in prayer that they will continue to be healthy!!!

DHR is coming to take my children away........

So you're probably saying to yourself, "Oh Brooke, quit being so dramatic." But wait. Hold on to that thought for a moment....this wasn't your run of the mill, "Oh I forgot to pick up diapers at Wal-mart, or smashed his fingers in the door, or didn't realize he had pooped for a couple of hours and he got a horrible rash kinda thing" which I've never done...but this, oh this, is the most horrible thing I think I have ever done!

I LEFT MY CHILD AT DAYCARE!!!!!!

You are probably thinking to yourself that it's still not a big deal but let me start with how my day progressed. This is absolutely horrible. I mean this brings up horrible memories of my mom leaving my brother at the grocery store when he was 5 and me and my sister giggling all the way home. Well, I don't remember us giggling...but we had to know he wasn't in the car right? Anyway, I just got off track....where was I? Oh, I took Jack to daycare (did I even hug him goodbye?) and went to work. One of my co-workers had a sickness in the family and had to go home, so we had to split one of our routes. This was all fine except that we had a TON of mail!!! My main focus throughout the day was just to get back before the truck left at 5:30 so they could take my outgoing mail.

Well here is where I forgot my precious son.

For a split second I thought that I should get Jamie to go pick him up since I was having to work over but that was the last time I thought of Jack until I pulled into the driveway (25 miles from daycare) opened the garage, got our Kentucky Fried Chicken out (see, I even thought of food before my son, oh and don't tell Dave Ramsey I stopped to get chicken). I drove ALL the way home and didn't even realize he wasn't in his car seat!!! This is the moment I realized I am the most horrible mother ever recorded in the history of time...ok maybe now I'm being a little dramatic, but still. Anyway, I got out and I could see Madeline in the truck through the window of our garage. She yelled "Do you have Jack?" This is where I lost my breath and immediately wanted to slam my hand in the door of my car. I ran in the house to grab the phone (my cell phone died earlier in the day and didn't have a charger..what a day for this to happen!) and called our daycare provider to tell her I was on my way. Jamie in the meantime is TORE up!!! Jamie and Madeline were about to go and get him because the daycare called and told him I hadn't showed up. He was worried I had had a wreck...because being the wonderful mother that I am, I would have NEVER forgot to pick up my son from daycare!

So, the story ends with me returning to town to pick up my poor forgotten son.....I'm beating myself up the whole way there and a song comes on the radio. Carrie Underwood's "Don't forget to remember me"......

Wordless Wednesday

Blogging for Dummies??

Ok, if someone haphazardly stumbles upon my un-interesting blog....can you tell me how you learned how to do this? Did you buy a book, call a friend, or is this some innate knowledge everyone but me has been born with? I would love to have some cutesy page that I see everyone else has.....is there a class I can take to learn how to get my named spelled out really pretty in cursive at the bottom and what the heck is html anyway??? LOL

What a weekend!!!!

A group of my friends and I just returned from the LPN Deeper Still Conference in Nashville and it was AWESOME!!!! God was definitely at work in this place! It was amazing to see 20,000 plus women raising their hands to God and worshipping his Holy name! I was also amazed that in my two days there I didn't see one cat fight! LOL

Oh how I pray that I take God's word that was spoken through these precious women and apply them to my life. It's so easy to get a good weekend of God and turn around and live like the devil on Monday.

I was so happy to be in the company of Lisa (thepreacherswife) but I have decided that I will not let her choose which line to stand in if we ever get to go to another function together. We stood in line for 45 minutes for a slice of pizza and a Mountain Dew!!! She predicted we would be the last in line and I thought "there is NO way".....there was like 500 people behind us. Well.....she was right. We were the LAST ones in line!!!! How this happened it beyond me!!! LOL In all seriousness though, I am so privileged to have a friend like Lisa. I hope I can grow up spiritually and be like her one day. She has a genuine love for Christ and is so knowledgeable about the Bible (I love that she has a thing for Moses!) Lisa is also an incredible writer and speaker and I know that God has amazing plans to work through her to glorify His name!!!!!

Lisa has introduced me to the "Siestas" and I was so happy to get to meet them. This "blog world" seems exciting to me and I hope I can have some imaginary friends too!!!!

Well I'm off to work. I am the male-girl, oops I mean mail-girl!!!!

Love in Christ, Brooke